Spoken Like a True Geek...

Chicken George and an Ostrich…

2010-02-13T02:53:00.001-07:00

I took the family out for dinner tonight. We ended up at a new Japanese hibachi grill at City Center North (don’t remember the name).

Lauren had an excellent filet mignon. Done right, that’s pretty hard to beat. It was done right.

I ventured off the beaten path (one of my favorite things to do at a new restaurant) and tried ostrich mignon (for real). Surprisingly (to me), it was more expensive than anything except the kobe beef. I don’t know if that is because of the quality of the meat, or the scarcity of supply.

I anticipated it would be like chicken. I was wrong.

It went on the hibachi a deep red… looking more like liver than chicken or beef.

It was very good. More flavor than beef. I thought it tasted a little like bison… with a hint of a sharp, gamey flavor.

If I had to do it again I’d get it a bit more on the rare side.

Overall, I’m glad I tried it. It’s something different… and it was very good. And now I’ve eaten ostrich.

It was the first time for Holly and Sierra to have the chef come and prepare the food at the table on the hibachi. Our cook was spectacular. Lots of flair and a great sense of humor. The girls got a real kick out of his skills and personality.

Fun times. Big bill. Won’t happen again for awhile.

Okay… that’s the light part of this post. Since I haven’t posted in a few days I have to give double-duty tonight because I’ve been anxiously waiting to post this next bit (the Chicken George part).

2 days ago I finished “Roots” while I was on my snowboard vacation (videos still to come).

First… Fabulous book. A very stirring insight into a part of our national history that I think is ridiculously mishandled in school.

I look at the stupid books Andi has to read for high school and it doesn’t make any sense. While some have great value, a shockingly high number offer absolutely zero value to Andi or her life.

It seems like she has to read and discuss them simply because they’ve always read and discussed them. I don’t think they’ve changed the required reading lists in at least 25 years… since it’s the same list I had in high school. And I’m not even kidding… it’s the *exact* same list.

Now, I know books like The Odyssey and The Iliad are supposed to be classics. And maybe there are excellent reasons why they are not only required reading, but a significant portion of the school year for freshman English. But I don’t see them.

Maybe I’m an ignorant troglodyte, too far removed from traditional education to get this. But I think it’s a waste of precious time during a crucial period of Andi’s life to read “classics” like those.

Especially when there are books like Roots that are not only excellent reads… but have the potential to change feelings and beliefs so powerfully.

Why not make a book like Roots required reading? Yes, it would probably ruffle some feathers. It might make some people uncomfortable. But isn’t that a huge part of the value?

It’s a book that caused me to feel different about myself. I feel different about our history after reading it. It opened a space for me to ask myself (and Lauren) some hard questions after reading it.

It created value in my life.

It’s sad enough that, statistically, most Americans will never read another book cover-to-cover once they’re out of school (it’s true). That’s pathetic. And I think at least some of that has to be because kids aren’t exposed to meaningful books that move them. Books that challenge beliefs. Books that make a difference.

Why can’t we do that?

I think “To Kill a Mockingbird” can move a teenager. But Homer? Give me a break.

And instead of the watered-down, dumbed-down, politically-corrected version of slavery they teach in U.S. History 101 (and that I learned), these kids should at least have the opportunity to be moved to tears by the harsh reality of slavery. They should face the sickening truth of slave life head-on. And they should definitely get to openly discuss the moral issues that are present, even today, in de-humanizing *any* person or class of people.

Okay… enough about that. Just know that I think our educational system is way (way, way) off track in what they’re teaching my kids. The more I learn what truly matters in life, the more I’m horrified at what passes for an education. But that’s another post… or three.

If you haven’t read Roots, you deserve to. Especially if you’re willing to steep in it a bit more than the average book.

What would I have done if I lived back then? For something that is so obviously morally repugnant, would I have had the courage to stand up and be not just a voice of reason… but one of revolution? It’s easy to sit here 200 years later and say “of course.” But if it were that easy, how did it ever even start? How did that first foothold of gross immorality get established?

The common opinion (at least it’s what I was taught in school) is that because they were judged as less-than-human, blacks were treated as nothing more than property… as perhaps a step or two above livestock.

After reading Roots, I can’t agree with that theory any more. That explanation treats slave owners and society as simply being ignorant… having a deficit of knowledge or understanding. Which is complete crap.

I think the opposite is true… it’s not that blacks were treated as property because they were thought to be somehow less-than-human. It’s that people were forced to de-humanize them in order to justify immoral behavior.

And if you don’t think that same moral challenge is squarely before us today then you’re nuts. And blind. And ignorant.

And that’s why I really question how “easy” it would have been to not just reject slavery… but to passionately fight against it as the abomination it is.

Because even today humanity does way (way, way) too much de-humanization to justify our immoral behavior. It might not be on the same obvious, black-and-white (pun intended) scale as slavery… but those same moral issues (and our responses to them) are at the heart of war. And pornography. Often religion. Sometimes politics. Economic and social classes. And, unfortunately, racial and ethnic dis-integration.

And we like to think we’ve kicked that immorality to the curb. That it’s something we don’t have a problem with. And we’re wrong. Horribly, devastatingly, sickeningly wrong.

But you have to go deeper than slavery to see that. I couldn’t have seen it without the story of Roots. Seen how humanity re-defined humanity to justify. To soothe conscience. To even proclaim with righteous indignation the superiority of an outrageously immoral action and lifestyle.

And it’s not just that we did it. It’s how easy we did it. How comfortable that lie became. How it became “true” simply because we said it was true.

That’s how powerfully we fool ourselves. And we’re frighteningly good at it.

Perhaps I’ve made no sense at all in this vitriolic post. If you get it, congratulations… you’ve read between the lines and I appreciate that you made the effort to do so. This isn’t about slavery, or history, or the guilt of a white, middle-class American man… it’s about how easy it is to fall into the trap of de-humanizing others to justify our wrong and selfish actions. And reading a book like Roots really brings it into sharp focus.

Think about your reaction to the following groups of people… Terrorists. Muslims. Democrats. Republicans. Mormons. Communists. Nazis. Illegal immigrants. Smokers. Alcoholics. Abortionists. Prostitutes. Murderers. Rapists. Environmentalists.

I could go on for a long time.

And the point isn’t whether I agree or disagree with any of the people named. Some of them do terrible things. Some of them are just people who believe differently than I do. Some of them are simply passionate about their beliefs… that I may or may not share. And some of them are so far removed from my beliefs and lifestyle as to be barely recognizable as descending from the same species.

But that does not give me the right to de-humanize them, to see them as anything less than another person. My brother. My sister. If you’re so inclined, even a child of God… or whichever deity may be meaningful to you.

And it’s freaking hard to overcome.

Because we must de-humanize. Make them somehow less-than. Else we could never justify the waging of war. Or our judgments. Our punishments. Our disregard. Our scorn and contempt. Our self-righteousness. Our arrogance. Our ignorance.

Think we don’t still struggle with slavery? You’re wrong. It’s morphed and shifted and redefined itself. It changed shapes and colors and size and boundaries throughout the years. It’s hardly even recognizable anymore. But it’s there.

And it’s one of the epic struggles of humanity… maybe even THE defining struggle of humanity… to overcome the separateness and difference that we “see” in our minds with the paradox of unity and diversity that we “know” in our hearts.

And, if humanity has mastered anything in our time on this earth, it’s not technology. Or science. Or spirituality. Certainly not economics. Or relationships. It’s our stunning capacity to justify our actions. To tell ourselves a story. And believe it. Not because it’s true… but because we must. Because believing anything else would reveal to ourselves our weaknesses and abhorrent selfishness.

We tell ourselves these irrational stories not because we’re ignorant. But because we’re selfish. And we would rather believe a lie (especially one where others will support our justifying tale) than change our behavior.

The good news is, seeing and acknowledging this seeming trait of the human condition is a good portion of the battle. Awareness is crucial to overcoming. Mastery starts with something so simple as recognition.

I’m excited for that.

I think Dad would be proud. At least I hope he would. We often wandered to the edges of this discussion after 9/11. Poking and probing at the dichotomy of sacred patriotism and de-humanizing justification. Good talks. Deep talks. Hard talks.

Privately, Dad felt different than most. I think maybe I’m experiencing now some of what he felt back then. I wish I could talk to him about it more. He had a knack for helping me to clarify my feelings and insights into something more solid than a maverick idea rattling around somewhere on the borders of my ignorance.

So I’m sorry that I couldn’t express this more clearly. My inability to write what I feel is aggravating and frustrating. Words fail.

I am a passionate, emotional man. Roots caused me (or, more accurately, created a space for me) to really ponder how I am afflicted with this challenge. It’s difficult for me to express the scope of what I feel.

I love it when a book does that… transcend the words and the story. Challenge me. Change me.

Roots did.

“I Gotta’ Be Honest, Here… I’m a Little Stressed”

2010-02-08T17:29:00.001-07:00

That was my quote to Chris as we passed through Cedar City. It was raining. And 30 degrees.

Hmmm. Icy roads. Freezing weather. Only missing the middle-of-the-night pitch-black darkness vibe to totally creep me out.

Oh, wait… it was 11:00 PM, overcast, and black as pitch.

I didn’t think I would be that affected by driving in those kinds of conditions again.

I was wrong.

So I was a little stressed for the last 2 hours of my trip up to Brian Head. Cold. Icy. Snowing. Mountain roads. Dark.

Oh, yeah. That’s what I’m talking about. Fun times.

But I’m finally here.

Love the Volvo. No problem handling the conditions… including the 4-wheel-drive only mountain roads for the last 6 miles to the resort.

Atrocious gas mileage, though. Seriously. Maybe 16 MPG on the highway. Ugh.

But it got me here safe. And it’s got plenty of power. And lots of room. Got 2 full-size snowboard bags and a bunch of other luggage with plenty of room to spare.

I was really pleased to discover the Cedar Breaks Lodge (where I’m staying) shares a parking lot with the Brian Head Ski Resort. Slept in this morning after a long drive and got in a great half-day of ‘boarding.

Absolutely stunning conditions up here. It’s about 25 degrees and sunny (which is fantastic boarding weather). We got 7 inches of new powder last night and it made for unbelievable boarding.

I don’t think there were 50 other people on the mountain. Definitely one of my better boarding days.

I have some video. I’ll post it tomorrow.

Also, it’s beautiful up here.

The first time I ever saw Cedar Breaks was when my dad and I drove up here a few years before he passed. He wanted me to see what he thought was one of the most beautiful places in Utah.

He was right. I’m glad he shared it with me. Very peaceful and serene when I board alone or hike around the resort property. I’m right in the woods.

The view out my bedroom window is stunning. Last night I just sat by my fireplace and watched the moon shine off the snow in the trees out back. Definitely my kind of place.

I’ll see if I can get some decent iPhone pics (I don’t carry a camera) and some Flip vids to post tomorrow.

Also, I make this invitation every year when I go snowboarding… if you want to come up and board with me then I’d love to have you. I can only think of a handful of people that might take me up on that. Specifically, I’d love to see the twins or Jason head down.

Great boarding. Small crowds. Multiple terrain parks. Powder and groomed powder everywhere. There’s even a tube park right next to my resort if you want to bring kids (yes, Brooke, I’m talking to you).

Oh… and no phone service up here (for AT&T. Apparently Verizon is fine. Grrr). But at least I get really crappy internet. So I’ve got that going for me.

Volvo, FTW…

2010-02-06T00:43:00.001-07:00

Hey… something finally happened in my life. Yeah!

After months of hemming and hawing, arguments with the 2 mes, and lots and lots of false starts, I finally got a car.

I haven’t had one for 1 year and 10 days. Not since this.

In the end it came down to the Audi Allroad Quattro v. the Volvo XC90.

The Volvo Won.

I love the Audi. Probably too much. It was my emotional choice. The Volvo was the far more practical choice… although also more expensive.

I love it.

I need to get it outfitted for mountain biking and probably snowboarding with a complete Yakima rack kit and then I’ll be ready to get back the lifestyle I want to be living… outdoors and adventurous.

I get to put the AWD capabilities to the test this weekend when I drive up to Brian Head to go snowboarding in Southern Utah. They’re expecting another snowstorm the day I drive up. Should be a miserable drive driving leading to a fantastic day boarding.

Bring it.

New Socks…

2010-02-01T23:04:00.001-07:00

I’m excited. I got new socks today.

I know… not typically a post-worthy event. But today it is.

First of all, I’ve been wanting new socks for months. But they never seem to rise to the top of the to-do list (assuming I actually had a list… which I don’t).

But next week is my annual snowboard trip. And I wanted to make sure I had new socks for the trip (I take socks seriously when it’s cold).

So today I headed out to REI to pick up some new socks. Here’s the damage…

If you’re keeping score at home, that’s 6 pairs of socks with a 10% discount for buying more than 3 pairs and a 10% (I think) co-op discount. Total bill: $83.28.

Now, normally I wouldn’t spend that much on 6 pairs of socks (I don’t think… it’s been awhile). But they had some cool socks that I just had to try out. So I got 1 pair of 6 different kinds to see which socks I like best (it will be hard to beat my Timberland socks).

1 Pair is just for “extreme snowboarding.” I’m not sure what makes them uniquely qualified for ‘boarding… but I guess I’ll find out next week. I felt a little embarrassed that I’d been snowboarding with just dumb old ski socks this whole time ;-) Who knew?

The others were all hiking socks (which is why I’ve wanted new socks for so long… my good hiking socks are wearing out… and disappearing).

Lauren and the girls laughed at me when I tried on my first pair. I like them, though… and they might even be my favorites. I’ll know for sure after my morning hike tomorrow.

In the mean time, have a gander…

Nice, huh?

Warm? Yes.

Comfy? You bet.

Dorky? Absolutely.

Just wait until my kids see that I have a second pair of toe socks. They’re already embarrassed by/for me. I mean, what’s funner than getting something you enjoy *and* embarrassing your wife and kids at the same time?

Junior Politician…

2010-01-30T20:26:00.001-07:00

You may remember last year when I tattooed my head to help Holly get elected student body president at her school (http://mattharward.blogspot.com/2009/05/how-competitive-am-i.html).

Well, Holly accomplished what all student-body presidents *want* to do… but few actually *get* to do… she managed to get recess extended by 10 minutes for grades 4 through 6.

Pretty cool, if you ask me.

Here’s the story…

In an effort to reduce the food waste at lunch time the school decided it would extend the lunch period by 10 minutes for each class. The extra time would only be applied to the cafeteria time of each class… not recess.

Holly didn’t like the new rule. So she drafted a petition and obtained the signatures of the entire 6th grade class at her school.

Here’s her petition…

**********

Dear Mr. Michels,

As a 6th grade, we think that we need extra time at recess. We don’t need extra time to eat. The current lunchroom time is sufficient for us. It doesn’t take us as long to eat as some of the younger students, so giving us 5-10 extra minutes to eat would be a waste. We think that the younger students in kindergarten to 3rd grade should get the extra time to eat, and 4th through 6th grade should get recess. The younger kids have a harder time focusing on eating their lunch, and they don’t understand the value of money enough to care that they throw away half their lunch. As 6th graders, we understand that and also can just eat faster. As it is, we are usually sitting at the table waiting to go outside when our lunch time is up – we don’t require more time to eat.

However, since we sit in the classroom all day, a longer recess period would be much more appreciated. The older you are, the more exercise it takes to stay healthy. We think increasing the amount of recess we have would help us get exercise. Since most people just sit at the lunch table, they tend to talk more because they have nothing else to do. If we get outside sooner, we won’t be as loud inside. We see the following as the pros of having a longer recess:

We get more exercise and run off more energy, helping us to be calmer in class

We’re allowed to talk to friends longer after being in the classroom all day

The teachers will have more time to eat and to catch up on whatever they have to do.

Some of the cons of having a longer recess might be:

People coming in with more problems at recess

The younger students might complain if we are given an extended recess and they aren’t

Please consider our advice. We’ve attached a petition of the students who would like a longer recess. Thank you for your time and consideration.

The Quail Run 6th Grade

**********

As a marketer, I couldn’t be more proud. She got almost everything right (I would have reversed the pro/con order).

As a father, I’m impressed that she saw something she thought could be better and went and did something about it. Very cool.

I’m not sure when this whole thing goes into effect… but I do know that her petition was accepted and enacted. Grades 4-6 will get 10 minutes longer for recess.

Seriously… when was the last time a student body president actually delivered longer recess? Now if she could just do something about that infernal homework.

Go Holly!

I Can’t Keep Track…

2010-01-29T23:30:00.001-07:00

…of all the pets we’ve had.

It started 17 years ago when I wanted to surprise Lauren. I brought home our first animal. A cat named Samantha. Sam, for short.

And that started a running theme in our family. Namely, that it’s not just Lauren, Andi, Holly, Sierra and me in this family.

At the moment there’s also Monte (the stray dog Andi and Lucy found while visiting Brooke in Utah… that the Eliasons were kind enough to drive home for us). Lilo, our black fluffy cat who serves as the animal patriarch of the house… and he knows it. Bear, a sleek grey cat who is presently terrified of the next member on the list… Luna, our beautiful snow-leopard bred kitten (Lauren’s most expensive gift for Christmas 2008).

Home just isn’t home for us without animals.

To date we’ve had 3 dogs. At least 10 cats (way more if you count all the kittens we’ve been through). 1 pig. Several turtles. Too many fish. A snake. A guinea pig. Lizards. Frogs. And more, I’m sure.

Plus all the strays and charity case animals that Lauren and the girls are constantly bringing home. From birds to dogs to anything else. They love animals.

And now…

Introducing Justin and Joseph (or Larry and Buster if you ask Holly).

Sierra’s new Russian Dwarf hamsters.

I know. We’re a little nutty.

We actually went to the store hoping to come home with a new tarantula. That was Plan “A” and was soon discarded when the pet store had no tarantulas. Plan “B” was quickly hatched by Sierra.

(by the way, here’s a quick parenting tip… don’t bring your 8-year-old daughter to the pet store expecting to get a pet only to discover the pet you want isn’t available. Because you’re still going home with a pet. That’s just how it works.)

So now Sierra has 2 new roommates. Because she swears she’ll take care of them.

Uh-huh. We’ll see.

Tired…

2010-01-28T20:15:00.001-07:00

I’m not sleeping well.

I go to bed. I’m tired. Often *extremely* tired.

And my brain decides that would be the time to kick in to hyperdrive and not turn off.

I’m used to my schedule getting off-kilter because I’ll work odd hours.

But this is different.

I can’t sleep. It’s driving me crazy.

I. Can’t. Sleep.

I want to. I certainly *need* to. And I can’t.

I don’t want to resort to medication. I might have to. It’s that bad.

How do you turn off your brain?

Book Report

2010-01-27T21:21:00.001-07:00

Awhile back I blogged about starting “The Checklist Manifesto.” I finished it last week. It didn’t move me.

I followed that up with “The Graveyard Book” by Neil Gaiman. I picked that because I read Neil’s “American Gods” last month and though it was very creative… although not a really compelling book.

I *loved* “The Graveyard Book.” It was one of the more enjoyable stories I’ve read in awhile. My daughter, Holly, is reading it now.

Great storytelling and cleverly creative. Highly recommended.

Now I’m moving on to “Roots” by Alex Haley. I’m about 20 chapters in and enjoying it immensely.

Roots is one of the very first TV shows I remember from growing up. Not so much the actual show (I’m not even sure I watched it)… but I remember it was an event. These days the mini-series format isn’t nearly as popular, but the “Roots” mini-series was a big deal.

I’m strangely reading “Roots” at the same time as “SuperFreakonomics.” I like reading wildly different books in an overlapped manner because I think it gives me a unique insight and often triggers very cool “aha” moments. Then again, I’m a geek.

And, if you’re wondering, I don’t think SuperFreakonomics is as good as the original Freakonomics. I can’t really put my finger on why not, though. The first book was so unexpected. The second one is probably every bit as unexpected… but now it’s not so jarring.

I had hoped it would be like “The World is Flat” and its sequel “Hot, Flat, and Crowded” by Thomas Friedman… where both books were excellent and insightful without feeling like the sequel was just a continuation of the first. No dice.

It’s going to take me awhile to get through Roots. But I’ll be finishing up SuperFreakonomics in the next few days.

Next up will be either “Sonic Boom” by Gregg Easterbrook, “What Americans Really Want… Really” by Frank Lutz (Recommended by my good friend Susanne), or “Rising Tide” by Jeff Shaara (if you haven’t read any of Jeff’s historical novels then you’re truly missing out).

Anyway… this is what you get when I don’t have anything else to post about. Matt, the human library showing off his immense geekiness. Yeah, baby.

3 Days and Nothing to Write…

2010-01-26T22:12:00.001-07:00

Going through a bit of a boring spell here. Nothing to write about.

So I’ll pass the time with some random observations…

I have 2 places to hang shirts in my wardrobe. How are they organized? In the most obvious and natural way… The hangers with shirts that were placed on hangers by right-handed people (i.e. the dry cleaners) go on the left and the hangers with shirts from left-handed people (i.e. me) go on the right.

It’s much easier that way. Otherwise my wardrobe becomes a mess with shirts facing every which-way.

If you’re right handed that makes no sense to you. If you’re left-handed you’re nodding your head right now wishing you had such a brilliant system. Right?

In-N-Out burgers rock. So why can’t they get the fries right?

And… if you’ve never tried them… you should try In-N-Out fries animal style. Burgers are great animal style. Fries are better.

I got keys to my new office yesterday. Woohoo. I haven’t had an office outside my home in years. Maybe I’m growing up. Probably not. I’ll be surprised if I go in 1 day a week. I’m not sure what I’m going to do with 3 offices and a reception area yet.

I’m cheering for the Colts in the Superbowl. Call me un-American (in not rooting for the post-Katrina Saints)… but there’s something about repeated mastery that draws me to the Colts… even if they’re a bit on the boring side. Peyton Manning is so frighteningly efficient and in control. I love it.

Besides, probably the best thing I can do for the Saints is back the Colts.

It’s funny how much of my independence I’ve willfully given away over the years (it’s especially shocking if you know me and how much I value my independence).

I think the best example of this hit me on Sunday.

With our new schedule and my calling I’m up and out of the house long before anyone else even wakes up on Sundays.

And it stresses me out.

Why?

Because even though I have a great wardrobe that I picked out (Lauren doesn’t yet know what to look for in suits, ties, dress shirts, and dress shoes) I’ve discovered that I can no longer dress myself with any degree of confidence.

So I went to my Sunday morning meetings feeling overly self-conscious about my shoe selection. And even texted Lauren halfway through asking her to please bring me a different pair of shoes. And then changing my mind again. And ultimately realizing that what I really needed was for Lauren and Holly to each give me their thumbs-up on my wardrobe.

(As an aside, it should tell you something about my shoe collection that when I asked Lauren to bring me my nice black shoes she didn’t know which nice black pair to bring. I’m sure I have at least 30 pairs of shoes in my wardrobe. Can you tell I live with only women?)

It’s silly, really. I’m a grown man who knows how to dress himself in clothes that look good. Especially when I’m “suiting up.” And yet I’m not complete without the approval of my wife and daughter.

Apparently I’m whipped.

It’s good to be whipped.

Do You Remember…

2010-01-23T22:44:00.001-07:00

…Mr. Holland’s Opus?

I just watched it again.

Awesome. Better than I remembered. More meaningful than it could have been when I first saw it.

Reminded me a lot of Dad. And a little of myself.

And I cried. A lot.

Great movie.

Watch it.

Words With Friends

2010-01-23T20:14:00.001-07:00

I’ve never played Scrabble.

But I got a game on my iPhone on Christmas called Words With Friends that, apparently, is the same thing.

I started playing it against random people over the internet.

At one point I was playing as many as a dozen games simultaneously.

And you know what? I’m really good. I can’t vouch for the quality of my competition… but it’s not even close.

I haven’t lost yet. And I’ve really only had 2 or 3 close calls. Most games are absolute blowouts.

And, while I really like the game, I’m getting bored with competition that isn’t.

So now I want someone who might be able to challenge me. If you’ve got an iPhone then get the Words With Friends app and challenge me (mharward@phatrock.com). I’d love to see how I do against friends and family.

Why Does It Work This Way?

2010-01-20T23:55:00.001-07:00

Holly turns 12 on April 19th. That means this summer she gets to go to girls camp for the first time.

She’s been looking forward to this for a long, long time. Especially since Andi’s been going for 3 years and I’ve run the zip line or been a chaperone for 4 years. So Holly gets to hear all the stories and fun stuff.

This year will be almost like a family vacation. I’ll be up there running the zip line and some of the other rope events. Lauren will be up there as a stake leader (stake YW presidency). Andi will be there. And Holly will be there.

Poor little Sierra will be the only one left out :-(

Now let’s jump to another part of Holly’s life…

2 years ago we pulled her from her dance studio and hired a private dance teacher to give Holly 1-on-1 lessons.

We did that because Holly wanted to try out for a bigger dance company and needed some additional disciplines to even try out (she had previously focused exclusively on hip hop and breaking).

So, after a year of private lessons to round out her skill set, Holly tried out for the dance company she wanted to join. And she was accepted.

So now she’s spent months practicing and taking what essentially amounts to a part-time job’s worth of lessons each week to get ready for various competitions and recitals.

Last week her company went and bought their costumes.

Today we were to find out when her big recital is (at the Orpheum Theatre).

And of all the days it could be, the 3 days of the recital (1 dress rehearsal, 2 performances) are the exact days of girls camp.

So what do we do? Holly is totally confused. 1 minute she wants to dance… the next she wants to go to girls camp.

I hate to see her miss her first year at camp.

And I would hate to see her miss her first company recital that she has put so much of her time (and my money) into.

Why do schedules always seem to work this way?

Other than a trip to Hawaii a few weeks later, her summer schedule is wide open.

As it stands right now I think I’m going to be shuttling Holly back and forth between camp and home. Hopefully she’ll be able to get the camp experience… while “commuting” back home for recitals each day.

It’s about a 2 hour drive each way. So it’s not completely ridiculous. But I wish she could have the time to just enjoy both moments.

Any better ideas?

Goodbye Las Vegas…

2010-01-19T10:45:00.001-07:00

Last time I came to Vegas I splurged and rented a stretch Escalade limo to take the family out on the strip. I thought that was pretty cool.

Last night, however, I experienced what doing Vegas right really looks like.

I went over to my friend’s (Amish Shah) place at the MGM Grand.

Whoa.

I get nice rooms in Vegas. Typically 2 bedroom suites with marble floors and the works.

Ummm… yeah.

Amish was staying in the MGM Grand skylofts. And it not even the same world over there.

I felt like I was going to see the president with all the security.

And the wait staff was constantly doing anything asked. Anything.

The room itself had two master suites upstairs with gigantic walk in closets (apparently there’s also a 3 bedroom version that’s over 6,000 sf).

Downstairs is an entertainment room complete with a pool table, 2 living rooms, 2 sitting rooms, a casual dining room, a formal dining room, and several other smaller rooms.

It was cool.

Yes… I’m 40 years old. And I still think big hotel rooms are cool.

Lucy would have flipped out.

I’m heading back home today. I’m a little stressed because when I booked this trip I completely forgot that I’m an institute teacher. And I teach on Tuesdays. And today is Tuesday.

So I’m scrambling to get out of here earlier than I planned so I can make in back home with enough time to prepare my lesson and get to institute by 7:00pm.

At least I’m not losing an hour to DST.

Oh, wait. I am? Gotta go.

Good times.

Happy Birthday Amy!

2010-01-18T01:30:00.001-07:00

Today is my sister’s birthday.

So, first off, congrats to me for remembering that ;-)

Of course, I couldn’t tell you how old she’ll be. That I don’t know. Somewhere in her 30’s, I suppose.

Growing up we despised each other. Is it possible for a sister to be an arch enemy? If yes, then she was my arch enemy.

And it took me a long time to see her as an adult.

And even longer to recognize her for what she is…

Funny (not everyone agrees… but I get her humor)

Inspiring

A Great Mom

Committed

Truthful

Direct (a.k.a. blunt. also, rude)

Generous

Loving

Devoted

Strong

Insightful

Courageous

Righteous

Demanding

Willing

Creative

Deep

Intelligent

Old (jk)

Emotional

Caring

Concerned

Involved

Worthy

Beautiful (can I say that about a sister? Oh well… I just did)

Active

Busy

Sweet (I threw that in there just to throw you off)

Protective

Searching

Dedicated

Clear

Passionate

Hopeful

Loving

And, thankfully, no longer my arch enemy.

Vegas Redux & Other Ramblings

2010-01-17T17:44:00.001-07:00

I’m back in Las Vegas again. This time I’m here for an industry conference (Affiliate Summit West 2010).

Technically I’m here to meet with several people regarding JV (joint venture) opportunities. But I’m most excited to hear Dr. Robert Cialdini speak tomorrow.

If you don’t know him, he’s a professor and author of “Influence, The Psychology of Persuasion.” Killer book. Read it. If you’re in business or work with people at any level then it’s on my “absolutely must read” list.

Yeah… I know… I’m a geek.

Whatever. I’m mad stoked.

I’m supposed to meet my brother, Brett, here tomorrow. I think I’m excited. I’m in kind of a zone, work-wise. Don’t want to mess with it too much. For me it’s the equivalent of having a good hitting streak in baseball. You get a little superstitious… even when you’re not superstitious.

I’m superstitious.

Randomly…

I saw Sherlock Holmes yesterday with Mom and Lauren. What did I think? Meh.

I just finished “Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us” by Daniel Pink. Excellent. And surprising (hey… just like the title says). It really “lives” for me. I get it. I think I’m ideally cut out for the coming revolution he describes. I’m giddy. If you’re a business owner or manager you deserve to read it.

This is why I don’t gamble (among other reasons)… after going 3 for 4 last week on my NFL picks, I’m on the verge of going 0 for 4 this week. That’s bad. I’m glad all I lost was a little bit of pride… which is probably a good thing.

The last time I was in Vegas I had my family with me. At one point I needed to get some cash out of an ATM inside the casino in New York, New York (where my kids had just burned through a surprising amount of money at the arcade). As the cash came out my youngest daughter (Sierra) came over. Excitedly she asked “How much money did you get?” “$400,” I replied. Her awed response? “Cool… how much did you put in?” Only in Vegas.

I’m excited to eat good food tonight. I’m thinking sushi. Or maybe Roy’s (spectacular).

Not so excited to do it alone. (I know… weird, huh? At least for me.)

I tweeted to see if anyone else here at ASW wants to go with. No response. Yet.

Yesterday Sierra’s friend fell while roller blading at my house. She thought she broke her arm. I’ve heard that before (you know, since I have kids… and they always think they broke something). I told here to suck it up and it would be ok. Lauren believed her. I thought she was being an enabler. I was wrong. Thank goodness for mothers… dads would really screw some things up if it were left to us.

My next book is “The Checklist Manifesto: How to Get Things Right” by Atul Gawande. He’s a good author and I like his work.

I believe we should all have a manifesto. I don’t, however, believe we should have a checklist. Maybe he’ll change how I feel. We’ll see.

Well, The Good News Is…

2010-01-16T15:14:00.001-07:00

…I only had to waste less than 30 minutes watching the game today… so I’ve got that going for me.

I can’t wait until the Suns stick a dagger in me as well.

Good times.

**EDIT**

Has there ever been a worse playoff defense than the Cardinals? Would it even be possible to have a worse playoff defense than the Cardinals?

This is nauseating. And I’m not even watching the game (trying to preserve my TV and remote).

If I were a Saints fan I’d have to be at least a little concerned that the Saints had to settle for a field goal on one of their possessions. Against this defense that should be unacceptable.

Embarrassing.

Not much of a prognostication… but I predict this is the end of the Cardinals defense as we know it. Starting with the Steelers devastating touchdown drive to win the SuperBowl last year, this defense has done an excellent impression of a subway turnstyle… letting anyone through.

They’re beyond terrible. Excruciating. And they’re wasting an awesome year by Kurt Warner. And, after that wicked hit he took in the second quarter, probably his last (another not-very-far-out-on-the-limb prediction).

How bad is it? The Saints are *actively* trying not to score right now so they don’t run up the score (too late).

I will now go light myself on fire.

Grrrr. I hate sports.

Movie Elitist

2010-01-16T14:36:00.001-07:00

Hello. My name is Matt. And I’m a movie snob.

Lauren thinks I’m odd because I’ll only go see movies at the new Harkins Norterra. Why will I only go there? Because every theater is digital.

Lauren can’t see the difference. So she doesn’t understand why we would drive further to see a movie. They’re all the same.

By the way, she said the same thing when we got our 1080p HD TV.

What? How can you not see the difference? It’s like going from black and white to color.

I don’t understand it.

Why can I see the difference so plainly and to Lauren there is no difference at all?

And I’m writing about this today because the stunning contrast between digital and film projection was reinforced.

For most Saturdays recently I’ve taken Lauren and my mom to go see a movie each Saturday morning. We hardy ever get to go see movies and this has turned into something I enjoy and quite look forward to.

And it’s my excuse to go to the new Norterra digital theaters. Because they’re right smack dab in the middle of my house and mom’s. So we just meet at the theater… and it just happens to be the best theater in town. (If you live in Phoenix you have to go there and watch a movie in digital… I’m telling you, it’s a totally difference experience.)

Well, today we had to change venues to accommodate the Cardinals game (starting in about 5 minutes). So we went to the AMC Deer Valley 30 cinema. And it’s not digital.

And I learned something about myself…

I am a movie elitist.

I could hardly watch the movie I was so distraction by the film projection.

It was like going to someone’s house to watch a big game and discovering they don’t have Hi-Def… it’s not even worth it anymore.

I’m spoiled. And I can tell the difference. And I’m a snob about it.

Lauren was talking to me like I’m a child… “stop whining about the picture. It looks the same. Just watch the movie.”

Only I couldn’t “just watch the movie.” And I know that makes me an entitled, spoiled, movie brat.

So be it.

Digital is so much better.

P.S. This post is a pre-emptive post just in case the Cardinals lose today. Then I don’t have to come back and rant and rail about the game. And I also don’t have to smash my MacBook or bust up a perfectly good keyboard. Just in case.

Go Cardinals.

I’m An Embarrassment to My Family…

2010-01-15T16:20:00.001-07:00

I am so the opposite of my wife and daughters. And sisters, for that matter.

I can give Lauren $100 and she’ll clothe the entire family in inexpensive, yet stylish, clothes that she finds for $7 at who knows where. I love that she can do that. And she enjoys it. If it were an Olympic sport I think I would put the photo of her on the podium in our hallway.

She’s good.

As are my sisters.

And I am not.

In fact… I would go so far as to say that I the anti-Lauren shopper.

Today I went shopping for some jeans. Here’s my haul…

From the Buckle…

2 pairs of jeans
2 t-shirts
1 belt

Total: $416.91

From Macy’s…

1 pair of shoes
1 shirt

Total: $150.94 (the shoes were on sale)

From Abercrombie & Fitch…

1 jacket

Total: $108.18 (also on sale for 50% off… woohoo)

Grand Total: $676.03

…And I was proud of myself for keeping it so low. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t crack my top 20.

And I can’t even fathom doing it much cheaper.

But I’m pretty sure Lauren could clothe a small island nation for that amount. (She was a great sport, by the way. Didn’t even blink at the Buckle.)

And I would be ashamed to let Brooke see my receipts because she probably has coupons and some crazy buying combination that would give me 90% off and I’d also go home with 37 tubes of Colgate toothpaste for free… or something like that.

But I am whatever the opposite of bargain shopper is. I think they could even name it after me. Or maybe it’s just called “male” shopper. I don’t know.

I do know, however, that the two shopping experiences could not be any more different.

I like shopping with Lauren. Because it’s like a game. It’s competitive. You can keep score. It’s fun.

But not nearly as fun as just going out and getting exactly what I want and then coming home. Now that’s a successful shopping trip.

Right?

Which shopper are you?

I Miss…

2010-01-14T04:14:00.001-07:00

…my sister’s blog posts.

I know it stresses her out. And she has a *much* busier life than me (and also a much funnier life than me… although she might disagree). And it’s how I keep up with her life.

No pressure… just wanted to let you know that it matters.

Love you, Brooke.

Didn’t I Just Do This?

2010-01-14T00:11:00.001-07:00

One thing about blogging… it really emphasizes certain things about life.

Like how fast 24 hours can pass. It’s staggering, really.

If I was going just by feel I would say I am blogging every 10 hours, or so. But at the speed of life it’s all I can do to remember it once every 24 hours. Funny how time (and life) can play tricks on you like that.

I’ve also realized that I live like I eat.

And maybe only my brother Brett can really appreciate what I’m saying here. It was him that brought my eating habits to my attention.

Several years ago Brett and I were eating at a restaurant… since that’s what you do at a restaurant.

And he noticed I eat my food odd. (well… odd according to him… just the right way according to me). If I have a plate with 4 foods on it I don’t cycle between the foods. I eat all of one food before moving on to the next and eating all of that food, and so on.

And even when I drink my water, I typically drink all my water at once before going back to eat another food group.

Since then I’ve made an effort to be more “normal.” I don’t know if it’s working, or not.

But since I’ve been blogging I’m noticing that it’s not just about the food. That’s how I live my life.

If you had asked me 2 weeks ago I would have said I live a varied and full life.

Now I can see that isn’t true. Doesn’t even approach the truth, really.

I live a lopsided, completely imbalanced life.

And I like it this way. I just never noticed it until I started blogging. Well, until I started blogging more than 14 times a year, anyway.

As much as I like to play, I don’t seem to be able to integrate it with my work. And as much as I like to work, I don’t seem to be able to mix it in with my relationships.

I live like I eat.

When I’m working… that’s all I’m doing. There is nothing else. No moderation. No balance. Nothing. But. Work.

And when I’m done with (or tired of) work then I play. And when I play, it’s to the extreme… either in my time commitment or the activity of choice.

Three weeks before Christmas I decided to give golf a try again. It had been years since I golfed.

I liked it.

And golfed every day for the next 2 weeks.

It was all I wanted to do.

And then I was done.

I haven’t even looked at my clubs since then.

And I realize that my whole life is like that.

Today I sat down at my computer and realized that this day was just like the last day. Which was just like the day before. And there’s nothing new to say.

I don’t mean to say I have a boring life. I don’t.

But when it’s time to work I am consumed by work. There is nothing else. Including, sleeping, eating, playing, etc.

And that’s all I do.

Until I don’t.

Does that make sense?

I can’t say I dislike it. I just never noticed it before.

And all that is just a long way of saying that I have nothing new to write about today because it’s the same day I’ve already lived for the past week. Only different.

And now I’m excited for what’s next on my plate.

Sometimes People Suck…

2010-01-13T01:08:00.001-07:00

Okay… I know I said yesterday that I maybe, kind of, possibly might actually like people.

Days like today reinforce why I mostly don’t.

Today is the day that about 80% of my clients get automatically billed via PayPal. It’s a day I look forward to for obvious reasons.

It’s also a day I somewhat resent, though. Because it’s when I have to deal with people who are flakier than me… and sometimes outright dishonest to boot.

Like the guy who filed a fraudulent charge claim against me to his credit card company. That’s serious business in my line of work. My business lives and dies with my merchant account. And the online world is already on edge with all the scammy biz ops and bogus get-rich-quick schemes people promote.

So I get ticked when people feel like they need to tell some elaborate lie to cover either 1) their buyer’s remorse, or 2) the fact that they can’t pay this month.

All they need to do is cancel their billing agreement with me. That’s it. And it’s all automated and online. They don’t even have to ask me to do it for them or get my permission or even notify me.

And even afterwards all they have to do is ask and get a refund. Every time.

But that’s not good enough in today’s world.

Because then, who would they blame?

So they decide it’s better to waste the time of a half dozen other people who are now required to jump through hoops to show there was no fraud, no unauthorized transaction, and no conscience on behalf the consumer.

And all I want to do is just give him his money back and move on. I don’t want him as a customer any more than he wants to keep paying me. But because he took the coward’s road I can’t do that.

I first have to defend myself. And respond. And do busywork. And prove my innocence. Because credit card fraud is a very serious offense.

And I just don’t get the point. What does he get out of this? I have the records that he actually used my product. There’s nowhere for him to go with this. Doesn’t he know that?

I can’t hardly even speak, I get so frustrated with people like this.

And do you want to know the best and juiciest part? He’ll probably go years in his life wondering when it will be his turn to be successful. Wondering when people will stop ripping him off and taking advantage of him… probably so he can turn around and do it back to them.

And it’s sad that people see the world like that.

And it's maddening that somehow it’s my fault. And if you’re an honest, hard-working person it’s probably your fault, too.

We live in a society of professional, lifelong, outrageously committed victims.

It’s too bad… I was actually beginning to enjoy maybe, kind of, possibly actually liking people.

So, George, here’s to you… I present my Official Snake of the Day Award. You’ve earned it. Now go bother someone else.

Mo meets Jo… and other random thoughts

2010-01-11T20:41:00.001-07:00

Okay… first off, I just have to say WOW! for the Cardinals game yesterday. Talk about *serious* mojo heading into next week’s game. Just… wow.

The bad news was that I turned it off when the Packers won the toss in overtime. I couldn’t handle it.

I know… right?

When my neighborhood erupted in shouts 2 minutes later I raced back in time to watch the replays. I wish I hadn’t turned it off… but I’m kind of glad I did. I just got an expensive new remote for Christmas, and… well… you know.

Of course, the Cardinals rocking, impressive, total mojo win made me 3 out of 4 picking the weekend games. Not bad. I beat the only sportswriter I follow… Bill Simmons (The Sports Guy on ESPN.com). He was 0 for 4. Did I mention I was 3 for 4? I thought so.

Other random thoughts…

Apparently I don’t blog on days when I’ve stayed up all night. I pulled that twice last week and missed my blog posts both days. Once I missed it and I had Live Writer (my blog software) open to the post on my desktop.

Don’t know how that’s going to play out since I do that several times each month. We’ll see.

Also, my new church schedule is confusing me. It’s not just the early start (my first meeting is at 7:30am… which means I’m up about 6:30). It’s that I routinely get to bed after 3:00am. So on Sundays I’m fighting whether I should try to get some sleep or just stick it out and sleep after church (which is at about 3:00pm for me).

I’ve had 1 of each so far this year.

I’m thinking the ultimate solution might be to (*gasp*) go to bed at a more reasonable time. But that throws the rest of my schedule off. Don’t ask.

New random thought… my current church calling is my favorite. Which is odd… because I didn’t think it would beat teaching (in church). It does. I don’t understand it.

Even more strange, after years of knowing I don’t like people I’ve learned that I kind of like people. What should I do? That really blows some things up for me.

Lastly… my days of grinding last week culminated in the development of some of the most ridiculously cool software I’ve ever written… and a re-designed bedroom (but that’s another story).

I rock.

1 out of 2 isn’t very satisfying…

2010-01-10T02:44:00.001-07:00

I picked one of the two NFL games today.

I got the Jets pick right (which nobody else seemed to see coming). So that’s cool.

But I got the Eagles pick wrong… and that is aggravating to no end.

Not only do I like the Eagles… I despise the Cowboys. With a vengeance.

The only good news out of all this is that Jerry Jones will probably keep Wade Phillips as their coach. Which should keep them from winning the SuperBowl for at least a few more years.

Although, at this point, I have to admit that Tony Romo is frightening. I don’t like his emergence at all.

And it still just ticks me off that the Eagles didn’t even show up for this game.

I mean, if you watched the game, Dallas couldn’t have done any more to hand the game to the Eagles at the start of the game. But it was like the Eagles wanted to show the Cowboys that they wanted to win even less than the Cowboys.

And slowly the Eagles gave Dallas every single opportunity to get their mojo back. And it was over. It was over when Wade Phillips won his challenge of the Romo interception.

Done. Even though it was the first quarter.

Aaaargh! I just want to scream. (which would be a really bad idea since it’s almost 3:00am).

I know nobody that reads this will care. Heck, I shouldn’t care.

But sports is one of those things that can just get my blood boiling. And I *hate* it when my teams lose. And I hate it even more when they lose to the Cowboys.

And now I have to revise my predictions and say that the Cowboys will be in the NFC championship game after they beat the Vikings next week. And writing that just made my throw up in my mouth a little.

But here’s my new dream…

Cards win tomorrow, then get by the Saints the following week (I’m less confident of that now… but very doable). Then *we* get the opportunity to knock out the ‘Boys in their own house.

Oh, that would be sweet!

The other side of that, though, would be if the Cowboys beat the Cards. Then I might just go on a 4 state shooting spree.

No. I Don’t Have Cancer….

2010-01-07T19:37:00.001-07:00

Being bald has it’s advantages.

I love not worrying about my hair. I love accepting / embracing what is and not feeling self-conscious about it.

I love how it looks… especially when I grow out my goatee, shave my head, and get to look mean. It’s good practice for when the girls get older and start dating.

That’s not to say it doesn’t have its downsides, though.

For example, I went golfing on Christmas Eve. At one point I was trying to jump into a moving golf cart. Something I’ve done hundreds of times before.

But I forgot the golf cart had a GPS unit hanging from the roof and I accidentally dove head-first into it. It wasn’t a big deal… but I have no hair to cushion the blow (the same principle applies when I walk into a high kitchen cupboard one of the kids has left open).

The first bad thing that happens is that every little blemish, bump and scrape is visible. People with hair don’t have to worry about that (and it happens way more often than you realize).

In this instance I came away with a pretty good cut / scrape across the top of my head.

And that’s when the second disadvantage comes into play…

When I have a cut on my head I usually can’t shave again until the cut or scrape is healed.

This one was bad enough that I haven’t been able to shave my head since it happened.

It was so bad that Lauren texted me during church (during the sacrament, of all things) while I was up on the stand. She told me to stop leaning forward and looking down because my bald head with a big scab on the crown looked gross.

At least my phone wasn’t sitting on the wood pillar next to my seat (to adjust the pulpit position and the sound). And at least it wasn’t on vibrate. And at least it didn’t vibrate *really* loud while the sacrament was being passed.

Oh, wait, all that really happened? That was probably pretty embarrassing then.

Okay… so fast forward to today.

I’ve finally decided my head is healed enough to shave again.

Except now it’s so long I really need to buzz it with clippers first (the razor just doesn’t cut it after a certain point). Only I’m way too lazy for that. I figure I’ll just give it a go with the razor first and see what happens.

Didn’t work.

So I get out of the shower and make a mental note that I need to buzz my head as soon as I’m dry.

Only I’m a space cadet. And I forget. And I sit down at my computer… which means all bets are off.

2 hours later I’m hungry. To put it mildly.

So I gather the family and head to a restaurant.

As we’re driving away Lauren screams.

Why?

Because I have an aborted, incomplete shave-job going on up top. And I’m really hungry. And I just don’t want to take the time to get out the clippers and buzz it before heading out.

So my mortified wife got to dine with an apparent cancer patient / burn victim tonight. We got a lot of funny looks.

Whatever.

Wouldn’t be complete without the pics. Enjoy…

P.S. I still haven’t finished the job. I better do it *right now* or I’ll probably end up going to church like this on Sunday.

Grind.

2010-01-06T23:10:00.001-07:00

Some days are a grind.

Today was a grind.

I prefer to work in fits and starts. Long periods of distraction interrupted by small flashes of brilliance. I do 90% of my work in 5% of the time.

And then there are days like today. Days I dread. Days I see coming weeks in advance and do all I can to avoid, postpone, and ignore.

From the time I got home from taking Andi to school (about 6:30am) until now (about 11:00pm) I’ve been grinding. Pushing. Wrestling with work that just needs to be done.

It’s the details. I’m not good at them. I don’t like them. And they’re inevitable.

Uggh.

And I’ve been avoiding this particular backlog for many, many months (a special genius I have). So it’s big. Huge. Ginormous.

It mocks me. Taunts my weakness. I hate it.

There’s no genius to getting it done. No moment of triumph to offset the drudge of the grind. No brilliant, lustrous, magnificent idea on the other side. And no grand experiment to prove.

And if you know me, you know there is absolutely no motivation to see myself through the grind. No drive. No power. No passion.

For Lauren, the simple act of crossing off each item one by one is joy, itself. Not me. Not close.

So I’m bored.

And I have nothing to write tonight.

My mind is numb. My creativity oppressed. I feel like a country song.

And no end in sight. Several days to go. The curse of procrastination.

(Sigh)

Back to work. The grind is waiting.

(Heavy sigh)

It’s going to be a long night.

(Long, drawn out, audible sigh… hoping for some pity from Lauren. Previous sighs apparently not working)

A Little Nook Nook…

2010-01-05T15:29:00.001-07:00

*Grin*

I got a new toy today.

Did you know I really like getting new toys? Especially when I’m the only one I know who has said toy.

I am an admitted gadget- and gizmo-aholic.

So when my new Barnes & Noble Nook arrived today I just had to drop everything to check it out. (Don’t judge the photos too harshly… I’m not my sisters or my daughter and I don’t walk around constantly with a camera in my pocket. So my iPhone camera will have to suffice.)

In case you don’t know what a Nook is, it’s a ebook reader. It uses a super-cool display technology that looks exactly like printed paper… you seriously can’t tell it’s an electronic display. Andi still thought the printed sticker was on the screen when I first showed it to her.

Since the display is like paper it’s supposed to be much easier on the eyes than reading from a computer screen.

And that also helps give the Nook a ridiculously long battery life… I think it’s a couple weeks of use.

And it can hold thousands of books and documents (I can send personal documents or pdfs from my computer to my Nook).

Anyway… that’s all well and good. But that’s only the justification I used to convince Lauren to let me get it.

Really, I just wanted to get it because it seemed cool. And it’s just a bonus that it could actually prove to be very useful as well.

Did I mention I like slick new gadgets?

I started it up and bought my first 2 books immediately (SuperFreakonomics and Rising Tide). Way easy… and the books are automatically delivered wirelessly a few seconds later.

I like that I can adjust the text size (since my old-man eyes sometimes need a bigger font) and even the font. I can even highlight and bookmark.

Surprisingly, there isn’t a good version of the scriptures available yet.

But there are hundreds of thousands of other books available. Seriously. And a bunch of them are free.

And usually digital books are significantly cheaper than their physical counterparts (for obvious reasons). New bestsellers (only available in hardback offline) are usually less than $10.

I’m excited to read my first full book on it. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Also, I like gadgets.

Ain’t Technology Grand?

2010-01-04T16:41:00.001-07:00

I just finished giving my 5th webinar. And it hit me that I’m running a business that was entirely impossible not very long ago.

I give web-based seminars (webinars) that are attended live by hundreds of people from all over the world (more than a dozen countries today). There is a live video feed that can either be of me or my computer screen. Live audio. A whiteboard application.

I can even have multiple presenters from anywhere in the world.

I can do live surveys. Participants can “raise their hands” and ask questions. They can chat with me or each other.

I can see who’s attending and chat with them individually, or as a group. I can even see who’s paying attention and who’s not.

It’s just cool… ridiculously so. And perfect for me. And I take it for granted that I can communicate like this.

It will never replace live seminars (nor would I want it to). But what a great way to run an internet-age seminar company. I can even record the webinar with one click and make it available afterwards for viewing anytime.

Technology can be a real pain sometimes. Sometimes I dread it. Often times I despise it.

Mostly, though, I’m fascinated by it.

The stuff we can do today that wasn’t even a faint hope when I first started in business is mind-boggling.

Even something as simple as a blog is a minor miracle… don’t you think? The ability to communicate intimately with dozens, hundreds, or even thousands at a time is so staggeringly powerful. The nascent influence we each have today (even if we don’t recognize or acknowledge it) is mind-blowing and awe-inspiring (or possibly frightening).

And so cool.

I’m glad I’m alive today. Not sure how I would do in any other age (duh), but today couldn’t fit me much better.

Somewhere, the Football Gods are Laughing…

2010-01-03T23:08:00.001-07:00

It’s unfortunate that my only 2 blog readers are female… because today I need to blog about something distinctly male. The NFL.

Every year at least one team has a spectacular regular season (this year it’s at least the Colts and the Saints… I should probably include the Vikings, too). And every year said team(s) gets cautious at the end and starts playing not to lose instead of playing to win.

Now, they do this for an ostensibly good reason… to protect their players from potential injury while preparing for the playoffs.

But here’s the deal… in the process they invariably anger the football gods.

Now I don’t really believe in football gods (I’m not superstitious… just a little stitious). But I do believe that it’s harder to turn on and off winning attitudes and culture than most football X and O guys think. Or else they wouldn’t insist on killing their SuperBowl chances each year by willingly giving up a winning attitude and culture.

It sends the wrong message to players, fans, and opponents. And it will inevitably come back to haunt those teams that do it.

Because human beings aren’t wired that way. And even though football players (and presumably coaches) are taught that it’s the hard, physical skills that matter… it’s the “soft” psychological and emotional edges that give the championship advantage.

And that’s why playing not to lose at the end of the regular season is a loser attitude and instantly identifies those organizations that don’t have the soft skills to win this year. (I believe it’s why the Colts have only 1 SuperBowl win in a decade of dominance. It’s an organizational attitude that places talent over emotion and momentum. And that equals regular season wins and predictable postseason “flops.”)

So I make a few predictions… based entirely off of the emotional momentum and playoff “mojo” of each team as I see it. Because I believe in a league of parity (unlike, say, baseball) that energy has far more to do with playoff success than pure talent.

My 2009/2010 Mojo Picks…

Neither of the 2 best teams this year will win the SuperBowl. Indy and New Orleans are done. (Although Peyton Manning scares the bejeebers out of me and could single-handedly prove me wrong. But I doubt it).

And the inverse corollary also holds true… those teams that were forced to maintain the competitive instinct to the end because they were battling for their playoff lives will carry over an emotional advantage that won’t easily be overcome by superior (talent-wise) teams suddenly trying to turn it back on for the playoffs. This is especially true in the AFC where final playoff teams weren’t decided until the last game.

So even though on paper Baltimore and the Jets shouldn’t beat New England and the Bengals… they will. (Although New England played to win every game, because I don’t think Bill Belichick knows any other way. In this case I think it’s just been too long since the Pats played a meaningful game. But they’re a team that could certainly win next week and make a long run.)

The NFC is a little tougher.

I think the Cards and Eagles win next week (even though Dallas is technically the hotter team… no way Wade Phillips converts that to a W. Philly rolls Dallas in the intangibles game). And at least one of them will then take down one of the NFC favorites the following week. The other NFC favorite will lose in the conference championship (if they even make it that far).

That means the NFC SuperBowl team will be either the Cardinals or the Eagles. I say Eagles. But that may or may not be a pick solely for the reverse jinx effect I’m trying to muster.

In the AFC I pick the Jets and Ravens in round 1 (although I wouldn’t be surprised if the Pats win… Coach Belichick gets this more than any other coach in the league).

The Jets will lose in the next round because they just don’t have the talent to hang with anyone else. That is my sole talent pick heading into the playoffs… the Jets go down on talent, not energy and emotion.

At some point the Chargers will lose because they don’t have enough of the energy at their core (and it starts with coach Norv Turner… he’s the AFC equivalent of Wade Phillips in Dallas). I just don’t know if it will be in round 2 or 3 (because they could face the Jets).

New England, Baltimore and Indy could all make a SuperBowl run. They all have “it.” And since I’ve already taken down the Colts and Pats, I’m going to go with Baltimore as the AFC SuperBowl team… although picking Joe Flacco over Tom Brady and (especially) Peyton Manning doesn’t even make sense to me.

I might change that pick depending on how they show up energetically for round 1. But I’ll think I’ll look pretty good next week.

So that’s my all-mojo NFL prediction post. The teams that play in the SuperBowl will be there on mojo… not talent. And the teams going home before then have already sealed their fate by tempting the football gods late in the season. And they must be punished for it.

Attentional Blindness…

2010-01-02T11:32:00.001-07:00

Okay… I’m figuring day 2 will be the hardest (it’s the one that even threw Brooke last year). So I’m getting it out of the way early.

Last night Holly came in and asked me where to find some videos that I sometimes use for training / teaching. They’re cool videos that you can show your kids to prove to them that they aren’t as aware as they think they are.

The first video is at http://dothetest.co.uk. I like the original one better than the new one. Check it out.

The next several videos are my favorites. I use them a lot. You’ll get a kick out of them. See how “blind” you are before giving your kids the test.

Each of the videos below is a 12-second still video. During each video a major change will occur in the picture over the 12 seconds. Your job is to spot the change. It’s not as easy as it sounds ;-)

Oh… and here’s a tip… since you probably won’t get the change the first time around (especially for the first 3), you’ll want to replay them. When you replay the video you’ll also want to close your eyes or cover the video when it resets. When the video starts playing over then the picture resets instantly to the original and it will ruin the effect… you’ll see the jump. And if you can’t figure out what is changing that’s also how you “cheat.”

No cheating until you’ve given each picture several attempts on your own.

Video 1 (The River… and my favorite)

Video 2 (The Couch)

Video 3 (The Cafe)

Video 4 (The Cornfield)

Video 5 (The Market)

Video 6 (The Medal)

Now for the homework… after watching the videos (and proving that you aren’t as aware as you think you are), think about the other areas in your life where your attentional commitments have created blindness to other relationships or needs. They’re there. And just being aware of your blindness makes a huge difference.

158 Days…

2010-01-01T21:52:00.001-07:00

…since I posted on this blog.

Wow.

And my little sisters are running embarrassing circles around me and my (non-)blogging abilities. Of course, I still have capital letters on my side… so I’ve got that going for me.

This year I’m going to take my sisters on the same way I take on most things online… with an overdose of technology to level the playing field. I can’t reveal more than that just yet… but I may have actually found a way to post every day. Woohoo.

Probably not. But maybe. We’ll see.

I should at least be able to beat my 14 posts of 2009. Right?

Right?

Okay… onto the important stuff…

Here is my 10 Things for 2010 Bucket List…

10. Finally finish a freaking book! I’ve started writing at least a half-dozen books. Seriously. It’s hard work (for me). I’m so random that it’s difficult for me to think about and write a linear book.

I even had a publisher accept me for an entire series of books (The Evolving Entrepreneur). I never made it past chapter 6.

This is my year, though. I have too much working for me. Everything is pointing to this being a monster year. Monster, I tell you.

So I’m thinking I could squeeze a book in there. I don’t even care if it sucks (which is a lie, of course). I just want to say I did it.

And… I can’t let my brother publish his book and get bragging rights by default.

This really deserves to be higher on the list. It’s not.

9. A New car!

11 months ago I totaled my Land Rover.

I still don’t have a replacement.

Grrr.

8. Eat better. I’m a terrible eater. Terrible.

I eat at strange hours (since I’m up at strange hours). I eat whatever is convenient. I don’t even attempt to balance anything. And if I ever eat from more than one food group it means I’m at a restaurant.

And it’s definitely catching up to me.

I need to get the most from my energy in 2010. And that means better eating.

I’m even considering hiring a personal chef. Lauren would love that.

7. Get organized. Well… that’s a bit lofty for me. So how about “get manageable”?

Look… I’ve never been organized. I’m not exactly holding my breath for the organization fairy to sprinkle her magic dust on me.

But I really get to do better.

My business is growing (fast). My church responsibilities are growing (fast). My life is more cluttered than ever.

And it’s holding me back. In the past it’s been annoying. Now it’s becoming a major obstacle.

I need a good personal assistant. Really. Know anyone?

6. Hello, Mother Nature.

About a year-and-a-half ago I ruptured my achilles tendon playing basketball. Recovery took a loooooong time (at least in my time… which is like hyper-internet time).

Then I had a scuba accident that has kept me out of the water for more than a year.

Then I rolled my Land Rover down a snowy mountain last January. Once again, recovery took longer than I hoped.

That’s 3 things in the past 2 years that have seemingly taken away all the activities I love.

I want them back.

I’m 40 years old. And I feel every bit of it most days. That doesn’t work for me.

So 2010 is the year of the mountain bike for me. And the year of scuba. And the year of rock climbing. And the year of hiking. And the year of snowboarding. And the year of golf. And… just for good measure… let’s also make it the first year of sky-diving.

5. The Vacation. When I was a kid my parents took us on a six-week U.S. / Church history vacation across the country. In a motorhome. With a lot of kids.

It was the best.

Yankee Stadium (standing behind Reggie Jackson). Gettysburg. Liberty Jail. The Smithsonian. Statue of Liberty. Philadelphia. Boston Children’s Museum. Niagara Falls. Too many places to come close to naming them all.

I think I have as many memories of that trip as I do for the rest of my childhood combined.

Probably it wasn’t really as great as I remember. But I know I want my kids to feel the same way I do.

It seems we live our lives too small. We don’t have enough epic adventures. And why not? Because they’re a total p.i.t.a. to pull off, that’s why.

So this summer I’m calling forth the Harward Family Epic Adventure, Part 1.

Now on to the hard part… convincing my lovely wife that a month in a motorhome with 3 kids is the greatest thing that will happen to us this year. Wish me luck. And probably a few prayers wouldn’t hurt, either ;-)

4. Blog 365 (Days… not words). This is a stupid, silly little thing. It should be easy to do this every day, shouldn’t it?

But it’s Hard (with a capital H… which isn’t in my sisters’ blogcabulary) for me.

But here’s the thing… I’ve enjoyed reading Amy’s and Brooke’s blogs more than they can imagine. And I’ve learned so much about them. And I feel like I’ve actually been a part of their lives.

And that’s important. And real. And I love it.

And wouldn’t it just be ridiculously petty of me to let my self-conscious, anti-social, perfectionist, over-important feelings get it the way of allowing my brothers and sisters to know me as well? I think it would be.

That doesn’t make it easier. But it does make it something that is strangely important to me this year.

3. $1,000,000. Enough said.

2. Graduation 2010. This won’t make any sense if you’re not part of the 300-person braintrust I created on my 40th birthday. But I’ve promised them a blowout graduation party. And I’m stoked.

It will be my premier training event for 2010. 4 days of training like they’ve never experienced. Even a ropes course. With my brother. And probably in Hawaii.

Can it get any better? I submit that it cannot!

I’ve wanted to do a high-end training like this for years. And now it’s finally going to happen. With my own group, no less.

Sweet!

1. Be a better husband.

Lauren (my wife) has a hard life. You see, she’s married to me.

And I’m stupefyingly difficult to be with in a committed relationship.

I’m flaky. And absent-minded. And cluttered. And moody. And ADD. And inconsistent. And a procrastinator. And a know-it-all. And anti-social.

And she not only puts up with me… she’s my biggest supporter. And that means everything to me.

Especially when she must routinely feel like she’s running 3rd or 4th place in my life. My time is so often filled with work at all hours. And teaching. And church duties. And playing. And the kids. And even more work.

And it’s not often enough that I spend time focused on her. And she deserves better.

So that’s my number one commitment for 2010. 1 year from today I want my wife to look back on this year and say, without hesitation, that it was her best year ever… even though she spent a month in a motorhome with her dorky husband and 3 over-active daughters.

My Father’s Son…

2009-07-26T19:42:00.001-07:00

There was a farewell at church today. Lots of people. And upon walking in I was surprised to see that, even with all the visitors, the west half of the third row was wide open.

Why was it wide open?

Because that’s “our row.”

And I chuckled. It was just like growing up.

And upon further reflection I realized something both terrible and wonderful…

I am my father’s son.

That’s the good news.

And the bad.

As much as I fought it in my youth, wanting to be my “own” man, there’s just no outrunning my upbringing.

On the one hand, I seem to have a lot of the tendencies I always loved about Dad. Most of them are small, private things. And it makes me feel good… like it’s going to be ok. I think this story has a happy ending.

And I also struggle with many of the same demons Dad fought his entire life (that I remember).

It’s frustrating. At times it’s terrifying.

I’m most afraid of the effect my procrastination, risk-taking and disdain for anything resembling authority has on Lauren and my girls.

And I wonder… are Dad’s weaknesses the natural companion to his strengths? Because what he was good at, there were few better. And what he was bad at, he was terrible. Not a lot of balance or moderation.

And I loved that about him.

I also know that those weaknesses were tough on Mom for a long time. And created tough spots for the family that I mostly avoided… but Amy, Pepper, Brooke and Kristen took on the chin.

It’s tough for me to have perspective here.

I want to be just like Dad. And I’m terrified I’ll be “just” like Dad.

Where’s Dad when I need to talk to him?

On Freedom…

2009-07-04T02:02:00.001-07:00

One of the reasons I don’t blog more often is that I tend to gravitate personally to more serious topics and I’m just not sure anyone wants to read what I have to say on spirituality, politics, economics, etc. Plus, I’m not exactly the poster child for short, sweet and to-the-point. I’m more than a little self-conscious about that kind of stuff.

Even when I was writing my weekly article for the Arizona Republic I had to constantly edit it down and fight with the editors for more space. What started as an 800-word column grew to 2,000 words a week before I stopped writing it. So that makes it a little tough to do every day. I would agonize for days at a time over each of my articles.

I was always surprised at how arduous writing was for me (even though I receive very positive feedback) versus doing something like my radio shows. On the radio I could show up 15 minutes before a live 1-hour show without any preparation and be good to go. Writing is certainly a different animal.

With that said, however, I do feel a strong desire (need?) to occasionally express myself on topics I consider important… even critical. And since I no longer have a radio show, newspaper column or regular speaking gig I suppose that just leaves my blog.

This is a stretch for me. Even so, I’d appreciate your honest feedback. Agree or disagree, I’d like to know what your opinion is. It can only broaden my perspective.

In the past I’ve tried to follow my sisters’ style and keep this light-hearted and funny. It suits them. Not so much for me. If this is ever going to stick I have to write about the things that consume me. Amy and Brooke may find it a little odd that their older brother feels scared to step out of their shadows… but that's where I find myself today.

Here goes.

It’s the 4th of July. Independence Day.

In America it’s our day to celebrate our hard-won freedom. And I can’t help but acknowledge the irony of a country so identified with freedom that is populated by so many people who don’t understand what freedom is or what it means. Staggering.

We are so far off track that at times it’s hysterically funny to me. Often sobering. Mostly it just scares me for the future of my country and the world my children are inheriting.

I don’t consider myself a doomsdayer. And I don’t pretend to preach that our society is headed for imminent destruction. I leave that to the comedic interpretations of the extreme left and far right. Those idyllic fools understand the true meaning of our freedom even less than John Q. And their predictions and knee-jerk reactions are predictably laughable, at best.

Of far greater concern to me is that our society and way of life has proven to be so robust and resilient that we often have no burning desire or reason to shift our beliefs. Even when they don’t serve us as well as they should. We are complacent. And arrogant. And ignorant.

And we just don’t seem to care all that much because we’re also comfortable. And “educated.” And well-off. Certainly better-than. And life is generally safe and easy.

So why, pray tell, would we choose to shake that up? And disturb the precarious balance we’ve established between good-enough and the misery of conscience that comes with an awareness of how great this could be… and isn’t.

Evidence? Check out the disturbingly high rate of consciousness-altering drugs in use in our society today. And I’m not talking about the kind of drugs where reputable, upstanding people get to look down their noses at the miscreants and scofflaws that use and abuse illegal substances such as marijuana, meth, cocaine, etc.

I am talking about the far more revealing and problematic societal symptom of prescription drugs everywhere designed to alter our moods and emotions so we can more adequately deal with the pressures and stresses of life.

And if this were a recent phenomenon in today’s economy it would at least be explainable. Instead this trend took hold during one of the most economically abundant periods in the history of our nation (and the world).

And it’s not just the staggering amount of Xanax, Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac, etc. that is prescribed every day. That’s just a symptom of a larger illness. Other symptoms are pathetic divorce rates. Alcoholism. Apathy. Ridiculous political polarity. Economic depression. And on. And on. And on.

I can’t help but think that these are all symptoms of a people struggling for something different. Different results. More meaning. Less conflict. Peace. Security. Fill in your own blank here.

It’s as if we share a societal conscience. And we know that somehow we are violating that tiny voice telling us there is something wrong. And it’s not so much that we ignore it… it’s more like we are desperately grabbing at straws to satisfy it. We’ll try just about anything to have what we say we want.

And at the root of our attempts to discover meaning and fullness in our lives I think we misunderstand some very core principles.

Things like faith. And accountability. And peace. And freedom.

Why? Partly because we learned from parents who misunderstand as well and pass that innocent (and hurtful) ignorance on to us. Partly because we have leaders willing to actively mislead us to accomplish their goals. Mostly because we are so busy searching for a solution to our lives that we never stop long enough to ponder on the root causes of our frustration and dissatisfaction.

And that brings me to freedom. Simple concept. Very misunderstood. Made worse by a society that sloughs off personal accountability.

As so often happens when a simple principle is misunderstood, it’s not just a minor clarification that is in order. The entire concept of freedom has been turned on its ear. Our common definition of it is entirely at odds with its real meaning.

In America we want to claim our freedom as the right to do as we choose / please. AND the right to choose our consequences. This is silly. And it doesn’t work. Try it sometime. You’ll see.

And yet we have massive organizations fighting constantly for this version of freedom. A freedom void of consequence and natural law. No wonder we have to fight so hard for that kind of freedom. It’s a fairy-tale freedom that doesn’t (and can’t) exist in this world. It’s a myth. Or, more accurately, a lie.

And although I consider myself to have very liberal social sympathies, I’m ashamed at how much of this “freedom-to-do” myth is advanced by social liberals who believe there is some nirvana to be found in a society that has been taught they can do anything in the name of freedom.

It’s absolute and utter garbage.

You see, the real freedom we have as Americans and individuals is not the freedom to do anything our minds can imagine… but to create anything our minds can imagine. There is a night-and-day difference between the two. Huge.

I have to thank my mom for teaching this to me. Even if she didn’t intend to teach it.

Growing up my mom wrote cookbooks. Good ones. Popular ones.

And cooking was a fundamental part of my childhood experience. I learned the importance of following a recipe… and the dangers and rewards of experimenting with one.

As a child with an immature view on cooking I tended to believe more in the “freedom-to-do” version of cooking. If I wanted to make great cookies it seemed so simple to me. I figured I could even make better cookies than mom because I wouldn’t put anything “gross” into them. Like flour. Or eggs. And certainly no walnuts ;-)

My cookies would *ROCK* because they’d have only the best stuff in them. Who needs 4 cups of flour when I can replace that tasteless flour with 4 cups of yummy sweet sugar. After all, it’s almost the same… right?

And wouldn’t it make it soooo much better if there weren’t things like salt and bitter baking soda in there?

Come to think of it, doesn’t it seem like the best cookies in the world would be nothing more than sugar and vanilla? Maybe throw in some chocolate chips, if you go for that sort of thing? Oh… and lots of butter.

Try it.

They are, not surprisingly, terrible.

They taste gross. The texture and consistency is a disaster. They’re impossible to get off the pan. Just a complete failure when compared to what I really want… the best cookies.

So I’m faced with a very fundamental and basic choice. I can either choose my actions or my outcomes. Not both.

When I choose my actions then the outcomes are pre-determined and natural consequences of those actions. I must accept the results. I don’t get to choose them.

When I choose the outcome I can focus on what I want the result to be. And then I am bound by those actions that would create my desired outcome. In cooking that is called a recipe. In cooking it is a generally accepted principle. In cooking I would be laughed at if I approached it any other way.

This is not a limitation or arbitrary restriction. It is simply the most effective route to my desired outcome.

And yet in life we are constantly trying to choose both our actions and our outcomes. Trying to create delicious cookies from just sugar and vanilla. And then we cry and moan and complain when life gives us crappy outcomes. And somehow we consider this sane.

The ultimate freedom is not the freedom to choose your input (action). It is the freedom to choose your output (creation). And that freedom to create is precisely what constrains our actions and behaviors.

People are offended when you suggest there should be any constraint on their actions. Suddenly you are imposing on their freedoms and agency. It’s not right, all these restrictions that are placed on them. Quick, someone call the ACLU.

And then they also want to complain (and blame) when they don’t have the results they desire in their life.

Ummmm… duh!

It’s why Stephen Covey says you must “start with the end in mind.” It’s why certain scriptures say all things were created “spiritually before they were naturally upon the face of the earth.” It’s why new-age teachers will have you create vision boards and presence the future in meditations.

Because freedom (also known as agency) is a law of the universe.

And it’s powerful. Absurdly so.

And it’s wicked frustrating trying to get anywhere without first understanding how to create desired outcomes in your life.

Of course, understanding the true nature of freedom is just the first step.

That knowledge alone will shift your focus from what you want to do to what you desire to *create*. Very powerful.

And not enough.

Because we then run squarely into the problem of ignorance.

If I don’t know or can’t envision what I want to create then I’m immediately at a loss and I’ve forfeited a huge portion of the power of freedom.

How can I be a great husband or father if I don’t know what that looks like? I’m limited in my freedom to choose my results when I can’t imagine what that result “looks” like.

And that means that part of freedom absolutely and unquestionably must be the pursuit of knowledge and the discovery of options.

I am most definitely not free to choose from the abundance of the universe in ignorance. I cannot claim the privilege of freedom when I am uneducated and unwilling to experiment with the “recipes” of life.

I’ve heard it said that ignorance is bliss. Sorry… but I have to call B.S. on that lie.

There is no bliss in ignorance because there is no freedom in ignorance.

And without freedom you are blocked in your path. Blocked in your progress. Blocked in your learning. And certainly damned in your aspiration for deep, fulfilling joy.

Oops… I seem to have over-written my welcome. Before I go, though, know this…

We tend to treat freedom as a noun. An object to possess that is passed down from our fathers and our fathers’ fathers. Something we will, in time, bequeath to our own children and their posterity.

It is not.

Freedom requires vision.

Freedom requires learning.

Freedom requires effort.

Freedom is hard work.

And every individual must gain his or her own personal freedom. Your own personal freedom.

The gift our country and our forefathers give to us is not the gift of freedom itself… rather the gift of the right to freedom.

It is up to each of us to accept that gift and honor that right.

Misuse that right or misunderstand that freedom and you are as much a slave as any creature ever was.

Honor that gift and develop and grow your freedom and the mysteries and treasures of life are yours to create.

Which will you choose?

5-Star B&B Review…

2009-07-03T11:42:00.001-07:00

Last week I discovered the best little bed & breakfast in Utah. I have to tell you about it in case you’re ever up in Utah for a few days and need a great, cheap place to stay.

This place has excellent food for breakfast, lunch and dinner prepared by a wonderful chef (formerly from Lone Star). Sierra even made the comment that it was just like a *real* family with homemade food for all three meals. I don’t know the exact hours, but the kitchen seems to be open all day. It was cooking hot breakfast before I woke up each day and was still going strong when I laid my head down each night.

The daily entertainment options were top-notch. There was dancing, partying, games, outdoor activities, rock-climbing, regular comedy routines and usually at least 3 different acts to choose from at any given time. To be honest, sometimes it was a challenge to avoid the entertainment variety on display from sun-up to sun-down each day. Whether you’re into comedy, drama, theatre, dance, horror, or whatever… you’ll find it there.

In particular, the Princess Revue is a must see. The quick-change costuming and breadth of scope are stunning. I’m amazed that one show can have so many princess costumes and characters. Truly amazing. Kudos to the wardrobe department.

And the kids are not forgotten. There’s a great slide towards the back of the property that I couldn’t pull my kids away from. Hotel management calls it “The Stairs”, but to my kids it’s just a super fast slide (especially when you use a fully inflated camping mat as a sled). Plus on-location amenities such as skitters, endless snacks and food, a big-screen TV and the previously mentioned entertainment was like a 24-hour babysitter for my 3 girls.

And the convenience can’t be beat. Within walking distance of shopping, food (Arby’s, Nielson’s Custard and a plethora of other restaurants), 3 Redboxes, church, parks, and even a car dealership (something not overlooked by Holly), it’s a can’t miss. I think for 2 straight days I didn’t drive my car.

The hotel staff seems to be up for just about anything. From rock-climbing at a local gym to playing in the community center pool to virtually anything that got everyone out of their rooms and into somewhere else. They’re even willing (almost anxious) for the staff entertainers to accompany you to wherever tickles your fancy. Always quick with recommendations for all age groups, they’re a real life-saver in an unknown city with lots to do.

As a terrific added bonus, if you happen to have 3 shopaholic daughters, there is an on-site personal shopping coach (who looks an awful lot like the chef… and cleaning lady… and entertainment director) who will teach your children to clip coupons and shop intelligently. It even includes an all-day personal shopping expedition at no additional charge. Magnificent.

What would you expect to pay for such service and convenience? On previous visits to the Salt Lake area I’ve stayed at the Hyatt, Hilton and Marriott. Each of those costs more than $100 per night. For a quaint Bed and Breakfast like this I expected to pay a premium. Yet the entire 6-night stay for me and my kids (in 2 bedrooms) was had for just a $50 gift certificate to Ross. Amazing, you say? I agree!

So where is this wonderful little getaway? Why, it’s Brooke’s house, of course.

I want to thank her for her patience and willingness to have her life interrupted for a week while my kids and I took over her house and life. She’s awesome. Much like Amy last summer, Brooke and her family were fantastic hosts. It’s much appreciated. And I love getting to know my sisters better. And watching my kids get to play with distant cousins is always a joy. Thank you.

And… based on the pattern I’m establishing… watch out Staci because next year looks like your turn ;-)

Is She Awesome, Or What?

2009-05-28T19:09:00.001-07:00

Andi’s really been getting into photography, Photoshop and scrapbooking over the past year. Since I don’t have an eye (or an inkling) for that kind of stuff, I’ve done my best to support her in other ways.

That generally means whipping out the debit card for cameras, computers, scrapbooking materials, etc. It also means introducing her to the basics of Photoshop and what it can do.

The help generally ends there, though.

Andi does photo editing in Photoshop. I do web work. It’s a big enough difference that she’s really on her own. (Although she’s pressing me to break out the card again to send her to a Photoshop summer camp that doubles as a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. We’ll see.)

But yesterday she got me involved in something else I can help with. She asked me to show her how to set up a blog and website where she can share her pics and thoughts.

Ahhh… now that’s something I can get into.

So I got her going on her Mac (she’s the one that introduced me to the Mac when she insisted that I get her one). I bought her a domain (bandyranderson.com) and got her all set up with web hosting and the works. (There are some benefits that come from having a complete geek for a dad. Not a lot. But definitely some.)

I think she was up until 3:00am working on her site. And she’s put in another few hours today.

She has the same concerns I do about blogging. What do I say? Who cares? Will this be stupid?

Whatever. She’s got her first post up.

And I have to say that her blog is waaaaay better than mine. Crazy better.

And I’m definitely having a proud papa moment here.

Check this out (and make sure and leave a comment). Could you do that? Didn’t think so. Come to think of it, neither could I.

Andi, I’m proud of you.

My Human Sound Effect Machine

2009-05-20T18:27:00.001-07:00

Saturday I bought Lauren a new notebook computer. I think that was a good thing… but I have my doubts.

I got all the basics installed and asked her what else she wants to do with it.

“Image editing.”

No problem. I use Adobe Photoshop routinely and I own several copies. I would install that.

Nope. That’s not the program she knows.

Corel PhotoPaint it is, then.

The only problem? I don’t know Corel, so I’m not much help to her when she gets stuck. I think we both underestimate how much that matters when Lauren wants to get something done quickly and easily on the computer.

So today she decides she’s going to use her new toy to make babysitting business cards for Andi for the summer.

And for the past 2 hours I’ve been sitting at my computer chuckling at her broad array of human sound effects as she figures out what she’s doing (it’s been years since she last used Corel).

Do you have anyone like that?

She chirps and squeals and grunts and growls. Audible gasps. Disheartened moans. Brief fits of self-applause and congratulatory oooohs and aaaaahs. All punctuated by random bursts of “No”, “Stop”, “What?”, “Why?”, “Wait” and my personal favorite…. “Hoooooneeeeey!”

That’s the drop everything voice where I know I’m about to have 1 less computer in the house unless I can hoof it into the other room in time to spare it’s promising and, as yet unfulfilled, digital life.

And this goes on for 2 solid hours. High comedy.

I think the funniest part is that she clearly has no idea how comical it is. Sometimes I hide right around the corner where she can’t easily see me and I watch her while she performs what I can only assume is some sort of traditional computer “rain dance” designed to deliver the results the desires.

Funny stuff.

How Competitive Am I?

2009-05-19T21:31:00.001-07:00

When Holly announced she was running for student body president a few weeks ago I took it as my short-term mission in life to make sure she won that election.

I mean, how would it look if a supposedly big-time marketer couldn’t get his daughter elected student body president? Exactly, right?

Of course, it helps that Holly has popularity and charisma to spare. That makes it easier.

But that’s not enough… I wanted something the kids would be talking about for weeks.

So Holly gave her election speech as an American Idol parody that she says kids still quote her on every day at school (that was 2 weeks ago).

And I gave her what little boost I could. Friday is my usual day to go to lunch with Holly or Sierra. I moved it to Monday of election week and had Lauren make up a little something special for me to wear…

Yep… those are tattoos.

And apparently when your dad shows up for lunch with election tattoos on his bald head it’s a ready-made recipe for *lots* of buzz.

Go figure.

Now I’m almost as famous as Holly.

Oh yeah… and Holly won. Of course.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the 2009-10 Quail Run President-Elect… Holly Harward.

1 World… 2 Views…

2009-02-25T15:58:00.001-07:00

In the past 4 days I finished 2 astonishingly excellent books that prominently feature the Middle East. I highly recommend both… for different reasons.

Three Cups of Tea is an amazing, inspirational story of American Greg Mortenson’s commitment and efforts to build schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan. I’m not sure how you could read that book and not come away feeling a renewed sense of urgency to be your greatest contribution to the world.

Truly moving. And it may very well change how you see the people of Pakistan and Afghanistan forever. At least I hope it does. Read it and see.

The other book is Hot, Flat and Crowded by Thomas L. Friedman. It’s kind of a sequel to The World is Flat, which I read a few years ago.

Hot, Flat and Crowded is most definitely *not* a book for everyone. It’s a much heavier read. And it will likely have the polar opposite effect of Three Cups of Tea. You’ll be frustrated, angry and indignant at the ignorance of our society and the disastrous environmental, political and social legacy we are passing on to our children and beyond.

It’s maddening.

So don’t read it if you’re looking for a pick-me-up. If, however, you are looking to be emotionally charged and have your beliefs about our world severely challenged then read it. Be prepared to dig deep to really confront the reality exposed.

And if you’re a business owner or manager at any level I would make it a must-read. No question. Again… it will change how you see the future of business and opportunity. And, if you’re like me, you’ll be excited for your new vision.

It was purely accidental on my part, but I would recommend reading Hot, Flat and Crowded first, followed by Three Cups of Tea. The latter book took some of the edge off the frustration presented by the first.

Regardless, both will expand your humanity and spirituality… although in vastly different ways.

This genre of books has produced some of my favorite reads over the past year. I’d put both of these in the same class as The Kite Runner (another must read) and better than The World is Flat and A Thousand Splendid Suns.

I'm Grateful For...

2009-02-22T15:25:00.000-07:00

This is my very first post from my iPhone. Woohoo!

I've decided to try a new experiment and use my blog and iPhone combo as an on-demand gratitude journal. So... here goes.

Right now I'm grateful for technology that allows me to even do this.

And I'm most grateful right now for my wife Lauren. Because of other commitments she hasn't been able attend the marriage class I teach for several weeks.

I miss her when she's not there. It's surprising to me how much more difficult the class is to teach without her and her contribution.

Well... Today she was back in class. And I'm so grateful for her vision, intelligence and spirituality. And the fact that she's so willing to lean in and contribute.

Very cool! And I'm grateful for her and her support. She challenges me intellectually and (more importantly) spiritually. I need that.

Who Stole My Belly Button?

2009-02-04T17:08:00.012-07:00

What's this?

It's a Dairy Queen Dilly Bar, of course! (As seen through the not-so-professional lens of my iPhone)

Maybe I'm the only one that remembers going to DQ to get a bag of Dilly Bars with Dad. Most often I remember going there to get a Family Home Evening treat. Sometimes it would be after a softball game. Other times for no real reason at all. Every time it was the best thing in the world.

I grew up with an inordinate amount of love for my local Dairy Queen (the one on 43rd & Dunlap, for you Phoenix folk). It was a spot I remember going when Dad wanted to reward us for absolutely no reason at all. And I can't remember a better feeling as a kid. Dairy Queen was a special place. In my (possibly distorted) memory it represented the pinnacle of the "just because" love that parents show from time to time.

What's funny is that after all these years I still feel the same about Dairy Queen. It continues to be one of my essential "go to" treats when I just want my kids to know how great they are. No reason at all. Just a small message from their dad.

Of course, they can't know what it really means to me. That this is one of the small ways that I can be like my Dad. That there's a connection and tradition in the Dilly Bar that somehow has become desperately important to me to keep alive.

So yesterday I was having a rough day. Painful. Too busy. Rushed.

And Andi had just been to the dentist for a temporary crown. And Lauren was running around getting ready to teach her college class. And I was quickly running out of time to prepare my Church History institute class. I was stressed. Lauren was stressed. Andi was stressed.

And I'm sitting in the Enterprise Car Rental office waiting to get my wonderfully sparse Dodge Avenger (woohoo) when I realize... it's time for the Dilly Bar.

See... that's the thing about the Dilly Bar. There's a "time" for it. I just know when it hits. And it was most definitely time.

Of course, nowadays I get a little let disappointed when I go get a pre-packaged box of Dilly Bars from DQ. It just isn't the same as getting the old bags out of the DQ freezer from when I was a kid.

You know what I'm talking about, right? You'd grab the bag that they made right there in the store. You knew they hand-dipped them in the store with their soft-serve ice cream because *ALL* Dilly Bars had the "belly button."

That was, without doubt, the single best part of the Dilly Bar. Chad and I *loved* the belly button. That was waaay more important than the flavor (butterscotch or chocolate, iirc). You needed the best belly button to have the best Dilly Bar. The "best" Belly Buttons were a magical fusion of symmetry, size, and the subjective quality of the "swirl" on the peak. It was an art form. And it was everything.

If you don't know what I'm talking about then you unquestionably missed out on one of the true joys of childhood. Ahhhhh, the Dilly Bar belly button *rocked*.

For a time I think Chad and I were the world's foremost connoisseurs of the Belly Button. We were the Randy Jackson and Simon Cowell of the Diary Queen Dilly Bar. We took it seriously. Seriously.

Oh, and they came in those little paper "sleeves" like you could never get away with today because of all the potential dangers. But all of those things made the Dilly Bar experience for me as a child. Untoppable. And nothing seemed more meaningful in the moment.

Well, today's Dilly Bars are different. I don't think DQ realized what they were messing with when they changed such a classic.

Now I buy them in a pre-packaged box that obviously comes from a factory somewhere. They're sealed in a plastic wrap like a popsicle. On the good side they have more flavors. Lauren wouldn't care so much for the Dilly Bar experience if they didn't now have one with crushed Heath Bar.

But here's what kills me. NO Belly Button!

What?

How is that even a Dilly Bar?

I try to explain to my kids the cosmic significance of the belly button. It doesn't work. It's just another one of dad's silly stories from when he was a kid (a specialty of mine).

And yet, even as I'm disappointed that Dairy Queen insists on messing with the best part of the Dilly Bar (and my memories of Dad), my kids think the Dilly Bar is the best treat you can get for no reason at all.

Because it means dad loves them. No strings. No conditions. And they must be magnificent because dad brought home Dilly Bars just for the heck of it. Oh, yeah!

Thanks Dad. The Dilly Bar lives! And still works ;-)

4 Months Ahead of Schedule?

2009-02-01T20:54:00.003-07:00

In an unusual turn of events I'm 4 months ahead of schedule for having my local sports team reach into my chest and ceremoniously rip my heart out. Normally I have to wait all the way until May or June before the Suns take the annual honor. Of course, they typically really build it up and make the most of it in a looooong, drawn out brutal playoff exit. You know... so it's definitely worth the wait.

So it's with great pains that I announce that this year the Arizona Cardinals took care of the whole heart-stomping early in the year so I can get back to my life sooner than usual. Heck... I may even skip the NBA playoffs altogether... you know, since that's what it looks like the Suns are going to do as well.

Oh well, great run by the Cards. Hats of to 'em. They pulled off the impossible for sure. Fun to watch. Probably shouldn't have even been there. And, surprisingly, no less painful to witness their demise. I was kind of hoping to ride my recent karmic tidal wave all the way to a super bowl title. Nope.

On the bright side... this whole run by the Cards really caught me off guard. I barely had time to get my arm warmed up for throwing the remote and my legs in shape for storming out of the room in disgust. As a result, I was *not* in playoff form today and had to settle for a handful of screams and softly slinking away. I still have a working TV *and* remote, though.

I must be losing my touch because Lauren and the kids didn't even feel the need to leave the house. They actually invited *guests* over for the game. What? I'm not sure I can handle being emasculated so early in the year. Next year I'll show up prepared and start working my unrealistic expectations into a frothy lather in early October. Then I can really get into the NFL playoffs and make it hurt like it's supposed to.

Now let's all join hands and sing that familiar Arizona refrain... "There's always next year!"

25 Things...

2009-01-28T13:02:00.003-07:00

Yesterday I got "tagged" by my sister Amy on Facebook with 25 "things" about her. It was one of those lists where you have to send it to 25 other people. I don't do those, btw. However... her list was really cool. And it inspired me. And I feel different today than I usually do (go figure).

So instead of passing it along to 25 people (I know, I know... I'll break the chain and have all kinds of bad luck and yada, yada, yada. Bad luck doesn't scare me so much anymore) I decided to go out on a limb and post my 25 things here, on my blog. Besides... I'm not sure I know 25 people I can send it to.

I have a *lot* more readers on my other blog, but this is still a stretch for me and I'm uncomfortable doing it. Whatever.

So, here they are... 25 random things about me. Be kind...

1. I normally would never *ever* do one of these things or pass it on. Today I feel differently.

2. I'm writing a book called "This is the Place: Finding Yourself in Life Through Tribulation." I'm sure that title won't stick. It's a book about how we can use the experiences of the pioneers to the west to have full and complete lives. It's better than it sounds here ;-)

3. I think I'm addicted to chapstick. Seriously.

4. Breathe-Rights are the greatest sleep aid ever invented. Sometimes I wear mine all day.

5. I'm terribly uncomfortable in any social situation. I don't know what to say. If you ever think I'm having a good time and not self-conscious... I'm faking it. For real.

6. Sometimes I think God speaks to me. In those times even I think I'm crazy. I like being crazy.

7. Since my Dad passed I have no one left to really talk to. Sometimes I talk to him anyway.

8. I really like quantum physics. I believe in multiple parallel realities. Don't ask.

9. I fell in love with 3 women in my life. I am blessed to be married to the last. I would be lost without her. And broke. And homeless. And miserable.

10. I feel perfect when I am teaching and when I am a dad.

11. Pizza is my favorite food. It's not even close. It's probably my second favorite food as well.

12. In my life I want to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, hike across kauai and backpack through the ancient ruins in South America.

13. I wish I still spoke Spanish as well as I did when I lived in Uruguay. I'm sad that I didn't take the time and make the effort to keep speaking... and even learn a few more languages.

14. My biggest fear is that my kids will grow up and won't know what's truly important to me. They'll think it's work, or computers, or sports, or something else and won't know that what's truly important to me is them. They are my joy. I don't show it enough.

15. Sometimes when I teach I discover that I know things I didn't know. It sounds weird, but it's true. It's one of the reasons I think I'm a great teacher. The other reason is because I'm an even better learner.

16. I don't tell them enough, but my sisters are the best sisters in the world. I think that's because my mom is so great.

17. I hate the walls we've artificially constructed in society that make it okay to judge people because they are of a different race, religion, nationality, ethnicity, or social and economic background than us. That's stupid. I wish we could drop all the other "names" we assign people and just recognize we are brothers and sisters.

18. I'd like to rebuild a 1968 or 1969 Camaro. Camaros built after 1969 suck and we should all pretend they never happened.

19. I cry during movies. A lot. Especially inspirational ones like Renaissance Man or Mr. Holland's Opus. If you haven't seen those movies you should rent them tonight. Especially Mr. Holland's Opus.

20. The Phoenix Suns break my heart every year. I shouldn't care... and most years I swear I don't. But I do. I wish I could quit. I don't think I ever will.

21. I regret not going to college. It's not for the education I missed (which I didn't). It's for the relationships I never built. I don't know anyone.

22. I desperately wish I could sing. Nothing inspires me more regularly than music. I think it would be cool to have that gift. I shake my head at people that have the gift and don't share. It's selfish.

23. I listen to music to get myself in a good space before I speak or teach. I always end with "It's About Time" by John Denver. It reminds me of my Dad. Here are some of the artists I listen to when I want to be inspired: John Denver, Josh Groban, Vince Gill, and William Joseph. There are others but I don't remember them now.

24. I've listened to more than 500 books on my iPod. When you see me walking around with headphones on it's because I'm listening to a book. Not music. And, I'll let you in on another secret if you promise not to tell... a lot of the time I'm not listening to anything. But if I pretend like I am then people leave me alone.

25. My Dad is my hero. I want to grow up and be like him. Especially I want to love life like him. I have a lot to learn.

And... just for good measure... here are 5 more things because I'm feeling generous ;-)

26. Mac is better than Windows. There. I said it. I feel so much better now... even though more than 90% of the income I've made in my life comes from Windows.

27. I used to be a Republican. Then I was a Democrat. Now I think it's really silly that I would categorize the complexity of my social and political beliefs in a single word. Today I'm just me.

28. It took me longer than a day to write the first 12 items on this list. It took so long because I care too much about what you think. Somewhere deep inside I'm still not sure I'll actually click the "Publish Post" button and unleash this on the world.

29. "The Fountainhead" (Ayn Rand) is my favorite novel.

30. "Time For Me To Fly" by REO Speedwagon is the greatest song ever. I don't know why. It just is.

Do You Know The Answer?

2009-01-27T15:41:00.004-07:00

Question: What do you get when you cross water, 18 degree temperatures and 65 MPH on highway 89?

Answer: Apparently you get this (click on the pics to see the whole thing - blogger wants to cut them off so they look pretty on my page)...

And this...

Or maybe this...

Now... ask me how I know this.

Last night I caught some black ice driving home from Utah. I was between Panguitch and Kanab at about 10pm when I started sliding. For style points I made sure to fish-tail back and forth several times before finally deciding to cross the oncoming traffic lane (no traffic) and barrel off the road and down the mountain.

It's funny how many complete thoughts your brain can have in a moment like that. Everything seems so slow. I clearly remember checking my seatbelt and making sure I was prepared for the rough landing. I also remember wondering if I was about to drive off a cliff (it was pitch dark and my headlights just showed I was about to drop off into the netherworld.

But the weirdest part was thinking back to a Myth Busters episode where they showed the best position to be in when you crash a car. Btw, contrary to popular belief, they said to brace for the impact... not relax. Whatever. I braced. And I did it because I had a complete thought stream through my brain in a micro-second about the episode. Like I said... weird.

After a brief, but exciting, extreme 4-wheel drive jaunt down the mountainside (about 75 yards) I got to the really fun part... the forest!

Again, it's odd how the mind works. I remember coming up to the treeline and thinking "This is it... this is how I'm going to die." I was prepared to go from 65 mph to 0 mph in about 7 nano-seconds and the space of roughly 8 inches.

Thank goodness for massive, hulking, oversized SUVs that we should never be driving in the first place. My size and momentum ripped right through the tree (you can see where the tree hit in some of the front-end pics). I'm sure I was every bit the picture of Al Gore's worst nightmare... A 14 mpg gas-guzzling, ozone depleting tank-of-a-vehicle doing my best impersonation of a Brazilian de-forestation squad. What joy.

That's the good news.

The bad news is that tree catapulted my Rover up over the front (end-over-end) and onto the roof before finally landing on the driver's side. I must have momentarily blacked out because hitting the tree is the last thing I remember from the actual crash. Although I heard more details from the recovery team that got my car out... I ended up flipping through a fence before coming to rest in a stream with my front driver's side roof and door buried in the bed.

In my next conscious thought I was standing upright in my car with my feet where the driver's side window should be and my head up near the passenger door. I don't have any recollection of undoing my seatbelt or wiggling into a standing position, which is odd. I did a quick body check to make sure I still had all my important pieces and immediately felt a huge surge of...

Gratitude!

I remember being so overwhelmed with gratitude that I was somehow still alive... let alone in relatively good shape. I was literally dumbstruck (or perhaps awestruck) with how grateful I was to be alive in that moment.

That was immediately followed by the most intense panic I have ever experienced. One thing I noticed about those several minutes before I clawed my way back to the freeway is that there wasn't room enough for any more than one emotion at a time. And with adrenaline surging through my body like never before it was as if each emotion I felt was magnified 100x.

So when I felt gratitude it was the most exquisite, powerful, rushing sort of gratitude. And when I felt panic it was completely and totally encompassing. There was nothing else.

I tried in vain to escape my freezing vehicle for several minutes (or at least it felt like that long... it may have been just a few seconds). Because of the damage caused when I rolled, my passenger door (the only obvious escape route) would only open about 6 inches before the steel-on-steel contact stopped it from opening any more.

What does it say about society (and me) when all I could muster to think about in that moment is what they would do in the movies? I considered trying to kick out the windshield (I've seen that in lots of movies). It's not as easy at it looks, by the way. I considered breaking a window... also not as easy as it looks.

In the end my emotions overtook me and I decided the thing I would do in my life at that moment was crumble in utter and absolute despair, the depth of which was bottomless and unfathomable.

That lasted about 10 seconds.

And then I decided it was time. It was a really powerful moment. And now I finally know what committed action looks and feels like. Brett would be proud. So would Dad.

It took all my strength, but I forced the door open enough to crawl through. When I looked out I realized I had absolutely no idea where I was. I was surrounded by utter darkness. I didn't know which direction I came from or where the road was. It was terrifying. It didn't matter. (I hate to over-dramatize, but that's really what I was experiencing).

So I went back in my car for 2 things. The first was my Garmin GPS. I've got to give them props. My GPS popped off my windshield and was thrown all over the place in the cab of my truck. But I pulled it out and it worked (although my fingers were almost too frozen to turn the thing on... they should fix that ;-). That got me back to the road.

And what was the only other thing I salvaged from my wreck? Why, my 17" MacBook Pro, of course. Now that, my friends, is a true geek!

Once outside my passenger door I found myself perched atop the side of my truck knowing I needed to jump down... but I couldn't see the ground or what I would be jumping in. It's a strange state of being when my brain is screaming at me "if you jump you will undoubtedly break or dislocate your ankle. Probably both." (I have a history of ankle problems). My brain was absolutely sure of that. But something else was saying "whatever. " I knew I had to jump.

I jumped.

I vaguely remember scrambling up the side of the hill towards the road. I wasn't aware that I was literally clawing my way up the slope until later when my frozen and bloody fingers started to thaw... very painfully.

About half way up I saw a car pass by on the road. I was devastated. I knew they couldn't see me and I didn't know when I would get another chance to be picked up. According to the sheriff, there was no way they would have spotted my car (or me) until daylight because of how far I travelled and where I landed.

Upon reaching the road I pulled out my phone and miraculously I had a 1-bar signal. I had about 2 feet of space to move where I had any signal at all. The 911 operator wanted to know what mile marker I was at. I didn't know.

But wait... I had a better idea. I could tell her to within 9 feet using my trusty Garmin GPS. I gave her the coords. Then... silence. Then... "Okay, but do you know what mile marker you're at so I can get someone to you?"

Wow. I mean... wow. Really? A 911 operator doesn't know how to use GPS coordinates? That's surprising. So even though they actually had my position to within a few feet, the best I could do was tell her I was about 20 miles outside Kanab. Well done.

While talking to 911 I was picked up by Kurt from SLC. Thank you, Kurt! (Which, by the way, I absolutely take as a sign from a higher power that the Cardinals will win the Super Bowl ;-). How can I not see that symbolism?

He drove me until we saw the ambulance headed out the 89. How's this for strange... I got out of Kurt's car, walked across the street to the ambulance, stepped into the ambulance using the crew entrance (not the back door) and then laid down on a back board and had my head and neck immobilized. It was just a little comical... even at the time.

That's all the interesting stuff. Not much of a story after that.

I went to the Kane County ER in Kanab and had a CT-Scan. No broken neck. So I've got that going for me.

And, can I just say that small-town emergency rooms could not be more different than what I'm used to in Phoenix. I was the only one there. And the doctor sat in a chair next to me and told stories and brought me drinks and basically just sat around with me until the specialist reading my CT-Scan results (over the internet, I might add) got back with the diagnosis.

Oh, and before I forget, if you ever have the opportunity to be strapped and immobilized in a neck brace on a back board, my advice would be to pass. Seriously. Just pass. It's not fun. And it's hard to breathe and swallow and just about anything a normal human being needs to do every 2 seconds, or so.

When I was discharged from the ER one of the nurses drove me to a local hotel (where the doctor had already made me a reservation). She also offered to take me to get a bite to eat. I declined. Can you beat small-town service. I think not.

This morning I heard from Progessive Insurance (I'm very impressed with them so far). They took 1 look at my Land Rover and didn't even bother to write an estimate. It's totaled 2x over they said. I'll have a check on Thursday.

The worst part right now is I'm stranded in Kanab. I mean, it's a great town, and all... but there are no rental cars, no shuttles, no cabs, no buses. I need to get home. Luckily I have great friends who will drop everything to assist. Thank you Chris!

And thank you also to Brett and James who offered the same and I know they meant it. And I know there are many others who would do the same if asked. It's really cool to know that I have people.

The police, tow truck divers, and insurance adjustor all say I'm lucky to be alive. You probably can't tell from the photos, but the front driver's side roof is collapsed past the headrest. I couldn't get back in and sit in the driver's seat right now because my head won't fit.

I've tried and tried, and I honestly cannot see how I escaped serious head injury or death. It doesn't make sense to me. I think my most traumatic moment came when I actually saw the car. I don't remember all the thrashing and banging that must have caused that damage. I don't remember the roof collapsing on my head (which it clearly did). I don't remember how I came to be standing safely in the middle of my cab.

But I did. And you can believe I was very, very lucky. Lucky that the collapsed roof somehow missed my noggin. Lucky to force my way out of the car and find my way to the road (the part that the sheriff seemed most surprised by). Lucky my phone worked. Lucky for everything else.

But I have to tell you... I believe there's something more. Energetically I feel stronger than I have in years. Maybe it's the whole cheating death thing. Maybe it's something else. But I believe. I can't even say in what. Just simply that I believe. And it's intoxicating and powerful and deeply spiritual. And I wish I could share it with everyone... especially Dad. But it's also private and personal and uniquely mine.

I hurt.

I'm damaged and broken.

And I believe.

Weird, huh?

Wow... I'm a jerk!

2009-01-05T04:48:00.000-07:00

Okay... now I'm a little embarrassed.

So I'm searching for my sisters' blog URLs so I can go back and edit my original post with hyperlinks to their blogs. And do you know what I discovered? Another of my (many) sister's has a blog that she's been posting to for awhile now. How could I not know this? Am I that out of touch... or just that much of a jerk? Sadly, it's probably a little of both.

Anyway, I don't want Kristen to feel left out so here's a link to her blog.

By the way, bonus points to whoever can point me to my last sister's blog that I don't know about ;-)

Don't You Just Hate Sisters?

2009-01-05T04:26:00.000-07:00

Aaaargh... I have 2 sisters who just started blogging. They made some sort of a pact to do it everyday and actually keep everyone else informed of their lives. What's up with that? Don't they know we're the Harwards and we're supposed to live blissfully in ignorance of the lives lived outside of our own?

So I wander over to their blogs and they're actually really good. And it makes me think I should be doing the same thing. Which is really irritating. You know the feeling... when one of your siblings actually has a good idea and you know you should be doing it too, only it's actually going to take time and effort and a little bit of thought each day. How DARE they go and do something like that?

Well, I'm in. Even though I wasn't invited to their little blog party. I'm in.

Downside to my blog: There's simply no way I can compete with screaming kids and being a full-time mom when it comes to stuff to blog about each day. If that's your gig you're much better off reading Brooke's blog or Amy's blog. I bow to their seemingly never-ending energy and commitment.

Upside to my blog: Ummm... can't think of one yet, but I'm sure something will materialize eventually. I'm actually kind of excited to see what I have to say every day.